


Whistling in the darkness

by Danypooh80



Series: Waiting at the edge of forever [1]
Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, Time Travel, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:47:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 34,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22901185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danypooh80/pseuds/Danypooh80
Summary: Long ago, Nia met someone and began to put her plan in place- taking the place of one of the Hope’s colonists, she is ‘revived’ by Phineas Welles and starts on her mission to save the colonists of the Hope. However, after her escape pod crashes in Edgewater, she realizes that she may need a little help acclimating to life as a person as she finds the man she made a promise to all those years ago.How does one deal with coming back to life and being around people for the first time in years? You team up with the dead pilot and crush on a Vicar, of course!This is a prequel to the ‘Misfits of the Commonwealth’ and ‘Team Mage Chronicles’, so you don’t have to read those first- if you are following them, you’ll learn a little more about a familiar face and see just how Nia got started mucking about with things!Story updates about once a week on Thursdays!
Relationships: Female Captain/Maximillian DeSoto, The Captain/Maximillian DeSoto
Series: Waiting at the edge of forever [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1646104
Comments: 11
Kudos: 28





	1. The right pilot (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> I bit the bullet and finally put my [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/danypooh80) back up- follow me if you want to send a message, share memes, post fic recommendations, and get previews of upcoming stories!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nia meets Captain Alex Hawthorne of the Unreliable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! I got the chance to revise the intro- hoping to give this story the treatment I hope it deserves.

_ _

* * *

The halls of the ship were quiet and cold- the Watcher trailed her long fingers along the cool steel walls, feeling every bump and ridge beneath her fingertips. Her sheer green sundress was fluttering behind her, the rich green fabric contrasting with her coffee-colored skin. _He liked this dress on me_ , she thought with a smile as she played with her hair, the dark curls bouncing around her shoulders as she lost herself in the memory. _He said he thought I was beautiful._

Though the time had passed in the blink of an eye for her, years upon years had passed for him, and she wondered if he would remember when he saw her. _He promised he would,_ she told herself. _He said that when I found him again, he’d know._

She shook her head, chastising herself for such silly thoughts- she was beyond feelings like these. Once upon a time, she’d had a life, and the woman who’d been called Nia had made her peace with moving on- she’d been eager to leave the pain of existence behind, content to live in between and watch, viewing the world from behind the scenes. 

Until she found him. 

He’d been an accident, an anomaly- the moment she set eyes on the man, Nia found herself wanting something she’d never desired before- to be real again. 

“What would it be like,” he asked when she saw him last, threading his warm hand in hers as they lay next to each other in his dream, “if I kissed you out there?” 

She stroked his hair, savoring the sensation of the strands beneath her fingers, wishing she could be with him like this in real life, that she could smell the actual scent of his skin and truly feel the warmth of his hand against hers, but she knew it wasn’t to be. Sadly, she gave the man who’d stolen her heart a sad smile. “You can’t kiss eternity, love.” 

“But what if I could?” He asked, locking his light green eyes to her deep emerald ones. “What if you could find me outside of here? What about then?”

“You know I can’t do that,” she replied, her eyes searching his face as she memorized every line, every plane of his features. “We talked about this.” 

“But it’s not fair,” he replied as he lay on the grass, turning his head to look at her and play with her jet-black curls. “There’s got to be more to life than this suffering, this law-forsaken void.” He leaned over and placed a kiss on her lips, giving her a smile that made her remember a time when her heart would have skipped a beat at his touch. “I refuse to believe that I’ll never be this happy outside my own head.” 

“I should’ve never come to you,” she told him, threading her hands in his and scanning the threads. She’d ruined him, this much she knew, but he’d ruined her too- he’d made her want more, want a life with him that she couldn’t have. His life would pass in the blink of an eye for her, and all she’d do was spend the rest of her existence aching to have what would amount to glimpsing a shooting star. “I was only supposed to watch, not take you for myself.” 

“But you can’t deny you love me,” he replied, giving her a cocky smile that made her laugh- he was the first man she’d ever met that was presumptuous to think that he could hold forever in the palm of his hand. “It seems the architect has a plan for us all, even those that deem themselves above it.”

“That line of thinking is what landed you here in the first place, darling,” she chided, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. “Even for one as brilliant as you, there are some secrets that you aren’t meant to know.” Then she paused, checking the threads and feeling a glimmer of hope as she watched his branches shift before her very eyes. “You do realize that your destiny is your own, right? There are still choices you can make that will shape the very core of your existence.”

“We’ve had this conversation before- you and I both know that there is no choice,” he said gently, caressing her cheek and tilting her face to his as he placed a soft kiss on her lips. “There’s just a path we don’t know the destination to yet.” 

“Ah, this old argument again,” she said lightly, kissing him back and trailing her fingers along his chest as she chose her words carefully, “At any rate, I have a new question for you to ponder today,” Nia said softly. “Are you up for it?”

“Your questions are my favorite part of my day,” he replied honestly, taking her hand to his mouth and placing a soft kiss on her knuckle. “Ask your question, love.”

Smiling, she tapped a finger to her cheek, then gazed at him intently. “Would you rather remember a beautiful dream or live a purposeful life?” 

Instead of answering right away, he just stared at her, his expression pensive. “Are you saying if I want to understand the plan, I won’t remember you?” 

She shrugged and he swallowed, looking at her with a seriousness she hadn’t seen before. “What you propose is impossible,” he replied confidently, pulling her to him and placing soft kisses on her neck, “you’re part of my plan- I couldn’t forget you if I tried.” 

Ignoring his answer, Nia sighed, looking away. “I’m going to miss you,” she replied, being uncharacteristically honest with the man that had changed her world. “As much as I want to stay, the time for this dream is passing.”

“Then come find me for real,” he told her, eyes searching her face earnestly. “Prove you love me as much as you say you do.”

“Even if I found you, I’m afraid you wouldn’t know me if you saw me again,” she said sadly. “This form died a long time ago.”

“Forms are immaterial,” he replied. “No matter what you look like, I’d always know you.” She scoffed and tried to turn away, but he caught her face in his hands. “If you think I’m wrong, then you should have no problem testing that theory,” he replied. “I believe that no matter what, we’ll find each other.”

Nia looked at him in disbelief. “So you’d have me give up everything I know for the chance to find nothing? That hardly seems fair.”

“For the first time we’ve met, I can finally say that you’re wrong, love- I don’t want to give anything up,” he replied, giving her a warm smile she knew she’d remember for the rest of her days. “In fact, I want us to find everything.” 

\-- 

“Hawthorne,” Nia said gently, staring at the young man asleep in the bed. He was handsome, but he wasn’t the man she loved- his jet black hair had fallen in his face, making him look much younger than he was, and his large frame was curled up tightly as he slept in the too-small bunk. _I wish he had more time,_ she thought. _Alas, sacrifices have to be made and debts have to be paid, and it’s time for this man to pay his due._ “Wake up.”

The pilot of the unreliable stirred briefly but did not wake, causing the watcher to chuckle. “I’m sorry to do this,” she murmured as she touched a finger to his cheek, causing him to jolt awake as if he’d been shocked. 

“What in the Law?” Alex Hawthorne yelled as he shot up in his bunk, hitting his head on the alcove above his head. “Who are you and what the hell are you doing on my ship?” His grey eyes whirled around wildly as he tried to cover himself up- Nia just smiled, her head resting on her hand, elbow propped up on the desk next to her as she crossed her long legs, the green fabric of her dress resting gently against her knees. “ADA!” Hawthorne screamed, “why did you let this woman on my ship!”

“I did no such thing,” came the reply. “All readings show the only person on this ship is you, Alex Hawthorne.”

Nia glanced at the pilot, who had now jumped up and was brandishing a tossball stick at her in what she assumed was a threatening manner. She tried to go with what she presumed was a soft smile, gesturing to the shaking man in front of her and tried again to get him to calm down. “Now that you’re awake, maybe you’d like to put that stick down so we can chat?”

“AAAAGGHH!” Hawthorne screamed as he swung the stick at Nia, knocking himself to the floor as the stick passed right through her. “How in the hell?”

“I’m not really here. Which is a good thing, because if you actually did hit me with that stick, I might be offended.” She looked him up and down, smirking at the half-naked man slumped on the ground next to a stack of tossball cards. “Nice underwear, by the way.” She extended a hand to him to help him up, which he gingerly accepted. “Sorry to startle you. Name’s Nia, by the way.”

He looked at the hand he was holding, eyes wide. “How am I holding your hand when my stick went right through you?”

Nia shrugged. “Because I want to help you up. However, I didn’t want to get brained by your ill-advised attempts at self-defense, so I didn’t fully materialize.” Then she smiled at the man, who had gotten to his feet and once again settled on the bed. “I’m here to ask you a question.”

This earned her a scowl from the pilot. “You mean you broke in my room and terrified me out of a good night’s sleep just to ask me a question?”

“It’s an important question.”

Hawthorne blinked at her, no doubt trying to figure out how to respond to a statement like that. “Ok... let’s just say for the moment that I even want to entertain this craziness. Why me?”

“I need an adventurer,” Nia said quietly. “Someone who’s not afraid to go beyond the stars into the lands unknown.”

Hawthorne gave her a smug look before brushing his hair out of his face. “Well, that’s me in a nutshell. However, I hate to break it to you, but I’m already on a job. I won’t be free to take another for a minute.”

“Oh, you have no idea how right you are,” Nia said with another smirk. “I’m just here to give you the offer- I’m going to come back when you’re... _done_ with the other job. If you think you might want to chat when I come back, I’ll be happy to offer you a new opportunity then.”

“Lady,” Hawthorne said as he crawled back into his bed, “I’m gonna assume you’re nothing more than a dream brought on by one too many glasses of Spectrum Vodka before bed. So,” he said as he turned onto his side, “I’m going back to sleep now and pretending this never happened.”

Nia shrugged again- his indifference really didn't matter to her one way or the other. “Suit yourself- I’ll see you soon enough, Hawthorne.”

“Sure you will, Lady,” Hawthorne mumbled into his pillow. “And Monarch is full of nothing but harmless sprats that want to cuddle with you.”

—

As the dry air of the planet whipped her hair in her face, Nia and Hawthorne stood over the body, staring at the dead man that was crushed under the pod in front of them. “Well, that looks like it sucked,” she said dryly. “That certainly wasn’t how I wanted you to go, Hawthorne.”

“THERE'S AN ESCAPE POD ON TOP OF ME!” Hawthorne screeched, gesturing to his slightly flattened body. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“Be dead, I suppose,” Nia said wryly, kicking the foot of the corpse. “On the plus side, you completed the job you took on- thanks for that, by the way.”

The apparition of Hawthorne whirled to her, irate beyond belief. “You mean _you_ did this to me?”

“Technically, since you were the idiot who stood directly under the beacon, you did it to yourself. But yes,” she said quickly as Hawthorne fumed next to her, “If we’re going to get technical about it, that was my pod, and I apologize for squishing you.”

“APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED!” Hawthorne squawked angrily, pulling at his hair. “I’m dead! Deader than a doornail! Lifeless! You shuffled me off the mortal coil!” He pointed a shaking finger at her. “How could you do this to me!”

Nia rolled her eyes. “Oh calm down! Sheesh, you act as if you’ve never died before!”

He began swatting at her furiously, and she held up her hands in self-defense. “I HAVEN’T!” 

_That_ caught her attention- she turned, giving the ghost a curious look. “What do you mean? Don’t you just pop back up after you die?” She paused for a moment and gave him a hopeful smile after she looked at the smashed man on the ground. “Maybe you get a new body?”

Hawthorne looked at her in horror. “Of _course_ not! What in the Law is wrong with you? Dead is dead, you idiot!”

The Watcher’s face fell as she started to realize the gravity of the situation. “Oh.” Then she folded her hands and looked down, an apologetic look crossing her features. “My mistake.”

“Your _mistake_?” Hawthorne said, leaning into her face. “You’ve murdered me and all you have to say is ‘my mistake’?” 

“Look, I didn’t mean to do it!” Nia said. “Let me make it up to you, ok?”

“And how in the Law do you intend to do that?” He gestured to his body under the pod angrily. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to add a little energizing ointment and ‘walk that off’!” 

Nia bit her lip, then rested her finger on her chin. “True. I think that body of yours is done for.” While Hawthorne spluttered in rage, Nia walked around the pod, lost in her thoughts. “But,” she said after a moment, looking at Hawthorne’s angry form, “It seems that I am woefully unprepared in what it means to be human nowadays.”

“That’s an understatement,” Hawthorne said, crossing his arms. “Whatever gave you that idea?”

“Look, if we’re going to be stuck together, you’re going to have to be a little nicer to me. Otherwise, I’ll just return your soul to your body and leave you right there,” Nia said angrily, pointing at the corpse. “If you want another option, then you’re going to have to help me on my mission.”

“Yeah, because my options are amazingly vast right now,” Hawthorne said sarcastically. “What do you want? And who are you again?”

“Nia,” she said, extending her hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Alex Hawthorne,” he replied, looking at her hand as if it were poison. “Cursing the day we ever came into contact.”

“Well, now that we know each other,” Nia said brightly, “It seems that I have need of your knowledge and your ship.”

The ghost looked at her in abject horror, which quickly shifted to fury. "Then it looks like you have a strong need to go fuck yourself, lady."

Undaunted, she gave him a bright smile. “Here’s the deal- if you can help me be a bit more human and complete this mission, then I’ll get you another body when this is done. Fair?” She extended her hand to him again- she’d seen people do this hundreds of times, so she knew she was doing it right. The apparition was just being obstinant. 

After a few moments, Hawthorne let out a sigh, then took her hand in his. The Watcher noted that his touch was icy, almost what she imagined it would be like to hold a cloud, and fought off the urge to shudder. “Fine," he fumed. "I’ll hang around till the end of your mission- then I never want to see you again. No late-night visits, no casual pop-ups, no random chats- is that clear?”

“Crystal,” Nia said happily, turning on her heel and bouncing with a lot more spring in her step than she should have, given the circumstances- having an actual form again was going to take some getting used to. “Well, it looks like we got a ship to find- lead the way, dead guy!”

“I can already tell that I’m not going to enjoy this,” Hawthorne muttered as they headed off toward the Unreliable. Nia happily ignored him, humming a jaunty tune to herself as she followed the ghost. “But Law help me if I have anything better to do right now.”


	2. Soothe my heart, save my soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawthorne and Nia meet a mechanic and a Vicar

_ _

* * *

“Ugh!” Nia yelled after the marauder shot her for the umpteenth time, “that bloody hurts!” She wiped off the blood and frowned at the apparition, who was smirking at her. “I’m starting to remember why I hated having a body!”

“I’d think about who you’re complaining to,” Hawthorne said with a bit of irritation in his voice. “Some of us would rather enjoy having a body right about now.” 

“No one asked you,” Nia said irritably. “I’m trying to figure out why your ship is busted. How the hell did you plan on getting off this rock?”

“Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you killed me,” he replied, a bit more smug than Nia would have liked. When Nia gave him a dirty look, Hawthorne sighed. “Look, just grab a gun and let’s head over to Edgewater. Tobson should be able to tell you where to go.” 

“But I don’t know how to use a gun,” Nia said as she picked up the weapon and turned it over in her hands, then presented it to the ghost. “You should probably teach me how to shoot.” 

“Why on Halcyon would I want to do that?” Hawthorne asked as Nia promptly shot herself in the chest. “Hmmm,” he said thoughtfully as he watched her fly against the outside of the ship, her body hitting the metal at what had to be an extremely uncomfortable angle. "I suppose that's why.”

Just like before, Nia got up after a few moments, coughing and spluttering. “Seriously? How many times am I going to die out here before you get off your ass and help me, Alex!” She scowled at the ghost and coughed up the bullet, spitting it out into her hand. “If you want a body, you’re not going to get it if I’m dead, remember!"

“Don’t I know it,” Hawthorne muttered. “I would get my fate tied to the one immortal that’s utterly useless.” The ghost huffed. “Come on, Captain Clueless,” he said with a sigh. “Let’s teach you how to shoot and for Law’s sake, put on some armor- people aren’t going to take too kindly to seeing you dying and coming back out here.”

“Good to know,” Nia said seriously, patting the ghost on the shoulder as she dusted off her clothes. “Thanks, Hawthorne.”

“How are you doing that?” Hawthorne asked, staring at her hand as Nia struggled to put on the armor he had her take from the marauder she’d accidentally shot. “The bullets that seem to stick to you go just fly right through me.”

“We’re connected,” she said simply. “Plus, I had to grab you out of your body, remember? Kind of hard to do that if I can’t touch you.” 

“Great,” Hawthorne said as Nia tried to shove her curls into a helmet and failed. “The one person in the whole damn universe that can see, hear, and touch me is the one I want to be around the least.” He rolled his eyes. “I don’t know who I pissed off to be stuck with you, but I hope to Law whatever I did was worth it.”

“Keep talking like that and I’m going to start taking offense,” Nia called out cheerily from down the ridge. “Now enough griping- let’s find this town and this regulator so we can get off this blasted rock!”

_ _

* * *

“Hi!” Nia said, extending her hand to the quiet mechanic. “My name’s Nia Alexandra Hawthorne,” she said brightly. “But you can just call me Nia. What’s your name again?”

“So, you do know how to behave somewhat properly,” Hawthorne remarked as they left Reed’s office and entered the elevator with the quiet mechanic. He looked down at his nails and rolled his eyes. “Will wonders never cease?”

“Uh…” the girl stammered as she looked Nia up and down nervously, not taking her hand. “Parvati… Parvati Holcomb.”

Nia just looked at her hand in awe. “Do people not shake hands anymore? This used to be a greeting, I’m sure of it!”

Parvati turned pale. “Oh!” She grabbed Nia’s hand and pumped it up and down awkwardly. “I’m sorry! I… just don’t get out that much, is all. Nice to meet you, Miss Nia, Not every day we get a real Captain in Edgewater.”

“Funny, you still haven’t,” Hawthorne muttered under his breath, watching as Pavarti and Nia made awkward small talk with each other. “Great, now there are two of them- it’s like the blind leading the blind, I swear.” He shook his head in amazement as they all exited the elevator. The woman confused him- she was spacy and daft more often than not, but when she got around anyone other than him, she seemed to know just how to put them at ease. The former captain of the Unreliable watched in disbelief as they made their way to the OSI church, marveling at the mess his day had shaped up to be. 

“Do you suppose whoever’s in here knows about the deserters and might be able to help us?” Nia asked the mechanic. “I do want to help the town, but I have to admit, your boss is a bit of a lout- he doesn’t even seem remotely interested in the problems of his workers.”

“Well,” Parvati replied, twisting her fingers in her hands, “It’s a right large decision. I figured we may want to get some counseling before we did it… make sure it’s the right thing to do and all.”

Nia blinked, finally looking around the building. “Wait a minute… is this a church?” She shook her head. “Oh no… I don’t do churches, I’m afraid.”

Hawthorne couldn’t resist- he leaned over so he could whisper in her ear. “What, is the great person squisher afraid of a little religion? Scared they’re going to judge you for murdering an innocent man?”

Though she didn’t answer him, Hawthorne noticed the corners of her mouth twist into a slight frown. He wondered what it was about the church that unnerved her, but realized quickly that she wasn’t going to talk to him in front of anyone else, so he decided to wait and ask her later. After all, he was dead- after decades of rushing from place to place, Alex Hawthorne finally had nothing but time. 

But after more cheerful coaxing from Parvati, the woman relented, heading inside the small OSI church and coming to a stop in front of the local vicar, who had his head buried in paperwork. “Yes? What is it?”

Hawthorne watched in amusement as Nia’s mouth set into a slight frown. “I think that greeting is a bit rude, particularly for a man of the cloth,” she replied, placing her hands on her hips. "Maybe we can start with a hello first?”

Hawthorne didn’t know if she noticed, but he could see the vein in the side of his neck pulsate slightly at her tone- this was someone who was playing at being calm, and not doing a very good job of it, so he placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder, hoping to calm her down. Though he knew that she would be right as rain if they tried anything with her, Hawthorne wasn’t willing to deal with the backlash of the Vicar and the girl seeing Nia rise from the grave- he had a body to claim. “And just who do you think you-“ the apparition watched as the words died on the Vicar’s tongue as he looked up and finally noticed Nia, her impossibly green eyes staring at him with blatant disapproval, and he swallowed. 

“I’m Nia Hawthorne, and I assume you already know Parvati Holcomb,” she said in a clipped tone. “Parvati, I warned you I don’t do well in churches.” She started to head for the door, her purple and blue curls whipping around and passing through Hawthorne. "I’ll get my own guidance, thank you very much.”

“Wait!” The Vicar called out, rising from the desk. “My apologies for my rudeness.” Nia paused, causing the Vicar to stand from his desk and walk over to her. “I’m afraid it’s been far too long since I’ve seen an outsider in here.” He smiled at her, extending his hand in greeting. “Vicar Maximilian DeSoto at your service.” 

Nia took his hand in hers, finally allowing herself to smile. “Nia Alexandra Hawthorne. A pleasure to meet you, Vicar DeSoto.” 

_ _

* * *

When she spoke, the Vicar laughed. “If we’re shortening names, Miss Hawthorne, you can call me Vicar Max,” he said, not letting go of her hand, “Pleasure to meet you.” 

“Nia is just fine,” she replied. “Though I do think you owe Pavarti an apology as well for being so curt with her when she so kindly insisted I come to see you.”

“It appears I do,” he said good-naturedly. “I was just taken aback to see Miss Holcomb out and about with a complete stranger.” 

“Just tagging along, Vicar DeSoto,” Pavarti replied. “Don’t mind me."

The Vicar turned back to Nia, eyes dancing with excitement. “I so rarely get new people to talk to,” he said with a smile. “Name your poison, anything at all- spiritual counseling? This season’s tossball predictions? The fastest way out of town?”

Nia let out a light laugh and shook her head at the Vicar. He was curt, yes, but he seemed harmless enough- she could see nothing in their immediate future to suggest otherwise. “Hmm, all of those sound tempting,” she said with a playful tone. “Are you this eager to run off all your future parishioners?”

“Only the ones who look like they may still have a shot at surviving out there,” he admitted. “You’re an outsider, Miss Hawthorne- it seems to me that you have some exploring yet to do.” 

“Right you are,” Nia replied. “What gave me away?”

“These are not board-approved colors,” he said, lifting a section of her brightly-colored hair and letting it flutter back against her shoulders as he rested the other hand on hers. “And besides, you don’t have that look in your eyes.”

Nia raised an eyebrow. “Which is?”

“Either slack-jawed or wild with rage and fury,” he said with a low laugh. “Neither of which seems to apply to you right now.”

“Give me an hour or so,” Nia said with a laugh. “I’m quite sure I can muster up some rage and fury after I’ve been shot at a few more times."

They both laughed at that, and Max smiled again. “So, Miss Hawthorne, what brings you to my office today?"

“Call me Nia, please,” she insisted. “We were stopping by because Parvati wanted to check in with you before we left-“

“Me?” The girl spluttered. “No, I thought you could talk to him!” Pavarti gestured to the two of them, waving her arm up and down."I mean, you two are getting along so well and all-“

At this, they looked down, noticing that they were still holding hands and quickly dropped them to their sides. The Vicar looked as if he wanted to blush, but returned to his seat, tenting his hands on his desk and glancing at the mechanic. “Miss Holcomb, something must have you terribly upset, as I have yet to hear you ever say three words to me in conversation.” He looked back at Nia, fixing his light green eyes to hers. “So, Nia,” he said, rolling her name off his tongue, “What task has our dear friend here in such a state? What has Reed asked you to do now?”

“To turn off the power from the deserters,” Nia mused, not breaking eye contact with the Vicar. “However, I don’t seem to think that leaving a group to die serves anyone’s best interest.” 

“But you can smash one unsuspecting captain and all is right with the world,” Hawthorne huffed. When Nia narrowed her eyes slightly, he threw up his hands. “Oh go on, please continue- don’t mind the dead guy in the corner. I’ll just be over here, you know, _being fucking dead!_ "

“Right you are, Miss Hawthorne.” Then he paused, looking down at her hand. “My mistake, I’ve made an assumption- you wouldn’t be part of a marriage contract, would you? I’d hate to be addressing you improperly.”

Nia shook her head. “Nope, don’t have one of those, which is good because-“ She stopped when Hawthorne began waving his arms wildly, signaling her to stop her current line of thought. “Because I am not married,” she finished. The ghost let out a sigh of relief, stepping back into the corner of the room. “But enough about me. As the authority on spiritual counseling out here-“ She smiled at the Vicar, watching as a slight blush crept up his face, “what say you about our moral dilemma?”

“Well, if you can, the best option would be to convince the deserters to return to the fold,” he said simply. “Save the most you can and all.”

Nia nodded. “Sage advice, Vicar Maximillian. Thank you.” She smiled, then turned toward the door. “We’ve taken enough of your time- we should head out. Thank you for the… guidance."

“Vicar Max,” he replied. “And anytime.” Parvati walked out of the room and Nia turned to follow her, but the Vicar got up and placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her to softly suck in a gasp. “Nia,” he said quickly, “Before you go, may I ask something of you?” 

“Anything,” Nia said before she could catch herself. Hawthorne raised an eyebrow at her, and she bit back a groan, knowing the ghost was seeing everything that was happening right now. “What’s on your mind?”

“I’m looking for a journal,” the Vicar replied as she turned around, finding herself staring into those light green eyes of his again. “Do you think you might be willing to provide some assistance?"


	3. So old and yet so new

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawthorne and Nia chat about what happened in the church

_ _

* * *

“Color me shocked- you didn’t die as many times as before,” Hawthorne remarked as they headed back to Edgewater. “I have to admit, I’m slightly impressed by the way you negotiated with Adelaide to get her and the deserters back to town.” He looked her up and down, appraising what he saw and offering a snort as judgment. “Seems like you might not be completely useless after all, kid.” 

“ _Kid?_ I’ll have you know I’m hundreds of years old- to call me a kid is an insult, Alex,” she said in a quiet yet playful tone. “I’m your elder, and don’t you forget it!"

“Not my fault you’re in the body of what looks like a kid,” Hawthorn chuckled. “Besides, how could I forget? You’re the only one I _can_ talk to, remember?” 

They were headed back to Edgewater to deal with Reed- Parvati had gone ahead to check on something in town, and despite his well-founded anger at her for his untimely demise, Hawthorne had found himself bereft of companionship. As a result, instead of engaging in a much-needed sulking session, he decided to take advantage of the two of them being alone for once and converse with the only person in the universe that could hear him. “So, age notwithstanding, how are you holding up?” 

“It’s harder than I remember,” she said finally. “I haven’t physically been around people in a long time. I’m constantly trying to keep track of what to say, what to do, how to look…” Nia sighed, brushing one of her curls out of her face and gazing at her hand, turning it over and over in front of her. “I know what I’m doing is right… but getting it done is not going to be as easy as I thought.”

Hawthorne paused, staring at her. He didn’t doubt how old she was in the slightest- the odd behavior had cemented that for him long ago. But as he looked at the girl with her head full of purple, blue, and black curls surrounding her tiny coffee-colored face, the pilot couldn’t help but feel a little responsible for her. “Well, it looks like you’re learning quickly,” he said as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “You seem to have a gift for bringing people over to your side.”

“That’s nice of you to say,” she replied, offering him a smile. “One of my gifts is persuasion- I can usually nudge people to do what I need them to do. Present company excluded, as you seem to be the exception to the rule, Alex.” 

This got a genuine laugh out of Hawthorne. “I’m honored,” he replied, giving a sweeping bow that made the girl giggle. “Since it looks like I’m the only one that can actually be honest with you, there is something I was a little curious about, kid.”

Nia looked at him with interest. “Such as?”

He gestured to her bag, a gleam in his eye as he watched her squirm a little. “Maybe you want to share with me why you took a headshot to get a certain little journal for a certain Vicar?”

“He asked me to get it,” Nia said evenly, giving nothing away with her tone. “And that shot was nothing- Pavarti didn’t even notice it.” 

Hawthorne just smirked at her. “Sure, and I’ll be speaking at the next board meeting for Auntie Cleo.” He shook his head, watching her carefully. "I still have eyes, kid- looks to me like you’re sweet on the Vicar.”

“I am not!” Nia insisted, a bit too loudly. “He was nice- that was all!” 

“Oh?” Hawthorne asked, raising an eyebrow. “So is that why you two sat there holding hands like two kids on a date while the mechanic and I got to sit there in uncomfortable silence?” The girl reddened and grew quiet as she walked away from him, causing Hawthorne to curse to himself- for once, he wasn’t actively trying to be mean to her. “Nia, wait!”

“Why, so you can make fun of me some more?” Nia retorted, walking even faster. “Pardon me for being nice to another person! Thanks for the heads up- I won’t make that mistake again!"

“Whoa there,” Hawthorne said, stepping in front of her and placing his hands out to stop her. “Easy, kid- what in the world is eating you?” 

When the girl stopped, he wrapped his ethereal arms around her, still marveling at how he was able to connect with her when he hadn’t been able to touch a single thing since his demise. He knew she could easily pass through him if she wanted, but she remained solid beneath his touch. “Hey, talk to me,” he said quietly. “What’s got you so twisted up? You’re usually bubbly to the point of irritation, Nia."

“As if you care,” Nia grumbled into his chest. “I don’t need your pity, Hawthorne."

Hawthorne knew she only called him by his last name when she was upset, so he decided to take a moment to see if he could calm her down. The pilot was at least a foot taller than the girl, so he had to crouch down as he gripped her shoulders lightly, forcing her to look him in the eye. “Right now, I’m the only person in this whole law-forsaken universe that might even have an inkling of what you’re talking about, so I think you do. And besides, it’s not pity, it’s concern.” He smiled at her, hoping to bring back some of the good humor she usually displayed. "I know you’re new to these things called emotions, but I assure you, there’s a difference, Nia.” 

When she let out a small giggle, Hawthorne smiled. “That’s better,” he remarked. “Now, can we talk about just what is it about our resident holy man that’s got you in such a state?” 

For a moment, he thought she wasn't going to answer- then she relaxed under his touch, closing her eyes. “I haven’t felt someone’s touch in over four hundred years,” she said softly. “And a kind one for longer than that, if I’m being honest.” Nia moved away from him to slouch against the abandoned pre-fab. “I just thought it would be different here, Alex. I thought…” She sighed, sitting on the ground and tracing patterns in the dirt. “I guess I don’t know what I thought.” 

Hawthorne wanted to stay mad at her, but there was something so broken about the girl that he decided he could return to being bitchy later. Instead, he sat next to her, wrapping an arm around the girl. “What did you think?”

“You don’t want to know,” she replied softly. “But thank you for trying to be nice to me- I appreciate it.” 

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know,” he said with a grin, bumping her shoulder. "You’re the only aetherwave serial playing right now, remember? I’m a rapt audience.”

“I thought I would be able to have fun,” Nia admitted. “I thought that I would be able to talk and laugh with people, have dinners, go on adventures,” she shrugged. “I guess I thought I’d have friends, you know?” She blew out a deep breath, staring up at the sky. "Talking with the Vicar was the first time I felt like that out here, I suppose.” 

Hawthorne paused for a moment, staring at the sky with her- he couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be alone for that long, and he squeezed her shoulder. It wasn’t as solid as the touch of the Vicar, but he assumed it would do in a pinch. “There’s nothing wrong with that, kid,” he said evenly. “Humans…” he paused, trying to find a way to say what he needed to. “Well, we aren’t always friendly by default. It takes us some time to warm up to folks.”

She gave him a slight smile, wiping her eyes. “Oh, is that why I’ve been getting shot at every minute of the day I’ve been out here? The residents just haven’t warmed up to me yet?

“Possibly.” Hawthorne chuckled. "And hey, that Parvati seems nice enough, right?”

“Yeah,” Nia agreed. “She’s genuine, which I appreciate. Not a bad choice in her body, that one.” She sighed, turning to him. “Thanks for that, Alex,” she said, leaning her head on him. “I know you hate my guts, so I appreciate you taking a moment to be nice to me.”

The pilot sighed. “I don’t hate you,” he said finally. “I hate being dead and I hate that you killed me, but I don’t hate _you_ , per se. Does that make sense?"

“I’m afraid it doesn’t,” Nia admitted, staring at him. “Care to explain?” 

Hawthorne stared at the sky, trying to gather his thoughts. “I wish I’d gotten a chance to do more before I died, I suppose." He exhaled, looking at the girl next to him. "You know, get laid and drunk one last time, maybe tell off everyone I hated…”

Nia gave him a look. “And what did you do the night before you died, Alex?”

He gave her a sheepish grin. “Got drunk off my ass on Spectrum Violet and convinced a handsome Mardet into my bunk after sending a note to Udom telling him to go fuck himself sideways.”

“Exactly,” Nia replied with a grin, causing them both to chuckle. “I wouldn’t have taken you if you had unfinished business, Alex- that’s not my style.”

“I suppose you’re right,” he said with a sigh, stroking her hair. “I just always thought there’d be another adventure, another chance to be a better person a little bit later. Now, whatever I was is rotting under that escape pod and that,” he said wistfully, "as they say, is that.” 

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Nia said thoughtfully, looking up at him. “Seems like we have a few adventures left to get into together.” She gave him a hopeful grin. “Well, if you want to, that is.” 

Hawthorne got up and extended his icy hand to Nia. “I seem to remember something about you hiring an adventurer in exchange for a body, kid.” The pilot gave Nia a dazzling grin as he helped her to her feet, carefully adjusting her armor and chucking her gently on the chin. “And we can clearly see that I’m completely dedicated to any job I take on.” He slipped a cold hand around her waist, then kissed her on her head. “Now come on- we’ve got a twat to overthrow and a vicar to see about a journal who’s waiting for another chance to stare at your ass.” 

Nia let out a loud laugh at that, smacking Hawthorne on his shoulder- when he realized that he could feel the slight sting of her hand against his arm, he smiled. “I don’t think he’s looking to ogle me, Alex- he was clearly just trying to butter me up to get his book.”

“Trust me, kid- I’ve given looks like that to people plenty of times.” Hawthorne gave her a devilish grin. “Mark my words- he was definitely after more than just a book." 

“We’ll see,” Nia replied casually. 

She quickly turned away, but Hawthorne could easily tell that she was smiling at the thought she just might provide a bit of temptation for Edgewater’s resident holy man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially, I was going to have Hawthorne be a throwaway character, but I love him so much that I had to keep him around. Never thought I'd say that about the smashed dude under the escape pod, but hey, characters are like that.


	4. Not part of the plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max gets more than he bargained for when Nia brings him the journal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early post because I’m stuck in a train station and also because why the hell not? 
> 
> Happy Friday!

_ _

* * *

Nia Alexandra Hawthorne was not, by any stretch of the imagination, part of his plan. 

His only reason for being in this law-forsaken town was to find the journal, but that had been stymied by the idiot marauders that infested every crevice outside the walls of Edgewater. Try as he might, he had begun to accept the reality that for once, this might be knowledge that he wasn’t meant to have, and he’d have to settle into a mundane existence in town, coping with his own inadequacies until he dropped dead from boredom or old age, whichever came first. 

That is, until the girl with the hair that swirled like the very galaxy came into his church.

As strange as it sounded, the best way he could describe her was like looking at a distorted version of himself. His tall, muscular frame, starting to show the signs of a sedentary life, towered over her tiny one, but he strangely didn’t feel like he had the upper hand when he talked with her. After chatting with her, the Vicar found himself aching to see if the girl could match him in a fight- the way she joked about her rage and fury made him want to see if she could handle herself outside of town, and when she teased him with that voice of hers, it made his heart feel lighter than it had in years. 

If it weren’t for the look in her eyes, he didn’t think he could be so sure- she was a slight thing, and she looked as if she’d never been in a fight a day in her life. However, when he looked into those deep green eyes, he knew better than to dismiss her. 

Max felt like staring at her was like getting a glimpse into his own soul- her gaze sent him swimming in the emerald pools, inspiring a desire to confess the very depths of his existence to her. 

The plan allowed for no other option except for what was supposed to be, and he trusted the plan implicitly. However, the plan had brought her to him- it wouldn’t give him hope only to snatch it back at the last minute, would it? He supposed he would know soon enough- the tiny girl would come back or she wouldn’t- it was, after all, the way of the plan.

But for the first time in a long time, Vicar Maximillian DeSoto found himself hoping against hope for a certain outcome.

—

When she came back into his church with the mechanic, there was a smug look of satisfaction on her face as she dropped the tiny blue book on the desk in front of him. “Found your journal,” she said nonchalantly. “Hope it was worth the bullet I took to get it.”

Parvati paled, staring at the girl with concern. “Captain! You didn’t tell me you got shot!” 

Nia shrugged. “No big deal,” she replied. “I hear it happens to every adventurer worth their salt every once in a while.”

“Or to those that are being reckless,” Max mused as he started to thumb through the pages of the book. As he stared at the words on the page, a growing horror began to bloom in his gut- he felt his teeth clench and his hands balled into fists at his sides. “Wait a minute… what the fuck is this?”

“Your journal,” she replied dryly. “You remember, the one I got shot to get. You’re welcome, by the way,” she said pointedly.

“It's a law-forsaken joke is what it is!” Max roared. “I can’t fucking read French!” He began to pull his hair angrily, causing strands to stick up at random angles. “All this time I spent preaching about the plan, only to end up fighting it at every turn. Fucking french,” he hissed. “All that effort for a book in _fucking French!_ ” 

“You’re quite upset over a book, Vicar.” 

Her voice jolted him out of his fury, and it was while his face was heated and his pulse was racing that he finally took note of the tiny woman standing in front of him. When he started his outburst, Miss Holcomb had wisely retreated to the corner of the room, but Nia had remained exactly where she was, looking at him with an expression that could almost be read as boredom. Seeing that look on her face and her cocky stance made him want to throttle her and cower before her in equal measure, so he decided to do neither, settling back in his chair and forcing himself to calm down instead.

“I…I suppose I am,” he stammered, trying to regain both his composure and the respect he was sure he’d lost from the woman. “It is just that I’ve spent my life searching for answers, only to have them snatched out of my grasp…” He trailed off, unwilling to voice his shame in front of her. Hoping to fall back into his Vicar role, Max smoothed his hair, taking a deep breath. “Well, enough about that,” he said firmly. “I promised you payment. Here you are, Miss Hawthorne.”

She took it without comment, her only acknowledgment of his presence being a slight nod of her head as she left the church without another word. Max started to say something- he wanted to call her back, apologize for his behavior, anything to get her to talk to him again, but he couldn’t make his mouth move to form the words.

Instead, he sat in silence and did nothing, watching as the women left the room and feeling every bit of the fool for his role in the interaction.

As he inhaled the scent of salt, cinnamon, and spices that trailed behind her, Max wondered if the sense of longing he was feeling in his gut was from having the knowledge he so desperately sought snatched away from him, or from the woman walking out of his door that reminded him of the vastness of the stars above.   
  
—  
When he saw the power go on in Edgewater and Reed Tobson scurrying away as if his ass were on fire, Max immediately knew that Nia had done what he’d suggested. The look of shock at seeing the familiar faces return to town was soon supplanted by a burning desire to find the strange woman, and that twisting feeling in his gut returned. He knew that she was piloting a ship on the outskirts of town- he’d overheard Miss Holcomb talking about helping her repair it. Max also knew that as soon as she left the small backwater town, there wasn’t going to be much that would bring her back- if he wanted off this miserable rock, he had to get to Miss Hawthorne… and soon. 

He said a silent prayer when he realized the ship was still there, but the two women were nowhere to be found. Shifting the contents of his knapsack on his shoulder, he wondered if she’d even be willing to talk to him after his outburst, let alone take him with her. _I’ll make her,_ he thought resolutely. _She’s my only way to get to Chaney, and Law be damned if I let that bastard slip through my hands again._

But as soon as he had the thought, he knew it was a lie- as sure as the day was long, Max knew that there was no way he could make the tiny girl do a damn thing she didn’t want to. She’d proven that when she stood stock still in the face of the rage that had driven others to hide in fear. The Vicar felt a gnawing fear in his gut at the thought of what he might be forced to do in order to gain passage on her ship- would the woman just allow him to apologize or would she make him beg for absolution? 

To his dismay, Max couldn’t tell which idea he preferred.

These thoughts were swimming in his head when he saw the women running toward the ship, being chased by a band of marauders. Max felt the blood pounding in his ears as he readied his tossball stick, preparing for the fight he could see coming-

And then the Vicar saw the girl go down, flooding his vision with a red-hot rage he hadn’t felt since Tartarus. 

_They’d pay for that… by Law, they would all pay._

For the first time in what felt like forever, Max allowed himself to indulge his violent enthusiasm, beating the marauders senseless for every day he’d been stuck on this blasted rock, every minute he’d spent listening to someone whining about their lot in life, and for every day he’d spent wishing for a book that was written in a language no one could even read. 

Over and over again he brought his stick down- when the object of his ire was no longer recognizable, he would move on to the next. He felt a rush of euphoria every time he heard that ragged last breath and that gurgle of air surrounded by blood, and he had no intention of stopping. He wanted to make them all feel every bit of hurt he was feeling- the thought of seeing his dreams snatched from him one more time fueling every swing of his stick, and the rage at having yet another desire denied driving his attacks. 

“Vicar,” a soft voice called out to him as a firm hand rested on his arm, pausing his rampage. “It’s okay. We’re safe- you can stop now.”

Max felt as if he had been frozen in place at the touch, barely able to turn his head. When he found that he could take in enough air to move, he found impossibly green eyes staring into his as she gripped his arm, tighter than he ever thought her capable of. “I…” Max said, swallowing and feeling the salty sweat dripping from his hair and into his eyes, “I saw you go down.”

“I did.” She smiled, wiping the damp hair from his face with her cool hand, the sensation of her touch lingering across his inflamed skin. “But it’s going to take a lot more than that to keep me down.” 

“So it would seem,” he said quietly as he bent forward, trying to compose himself. “I… am glad you’re okay, Miss Hawthorne.”

Her hand remained on his arm, burning with the heat of the hottest sun- Max could swear that he’d be able to find her handprint on his skin when he removed his clothes that evening. “Thanks to our friendly neighborhood vicar, I am indeed.” She smiled, offering him her hand so he could rise. “To what do we owe this rescue? I thought you’d still be in your office cursing the French language.”

Max rose from the ground, staring into those eyes that intrigued him so much, almost as if they’d seen every secret in the universe and were just waiting to tell him if he asked the right questions. “I was hoping to join you, actually. I thought you might be able to use my services- it seems my spiritual counseling may have had a hand in the successful resolution in town, after all.”

As soon as the words left his lips, he wanted to kick himself for his flippancy- she was under no obligation to help him, had no reason to take him with her, not to mention the fact that he’d possibly scared her away with his fervor. But Nia never moved or responded- she just stared at him, her expression neutral, almost as if she was waiting for him to strip away the bravado and give her an honest answer. Staring at the woman was like looking into infinity- Max felt like he was drowning in sand every moment he held her gaze. 

Soon he could take it no longer- he closed his eyes and almost shook with surprise when she brought her hand to his cheek, caressing him as gently as a lover would. “I want to go with you,” he said softly, unaware if anyone else was around and coming to the realization that he didn’t care if they were. “I want to protect you,” he whispered, unable to stop himself. 

“I don’t need your protection,” she replied her tone feather-light yet rich, barely carrying above a whisper. “But I would welcome your friendship.” 

“You already have it,” he replied, barely aware of what he was saying. Max felt like his brain was on auto-pilot- it was as if the words were tumbling out of his mouth without regard for his own sense of decency or pride. “I apologize for my behavior,” he said honestly, opening his eyes and searching the face of the strange woman in front of him. 

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” she said, removing her hand from his face. Max touched his cheek, acutely feeling the loss of her skin on his, and watching wordlessly as she moved toward the ship, tossing a casual glance over her shoulder at the stunned Vicar. “You coming?”

Without a second thought, Max grabbed his bag, racing aboard the ship to catch up with the woman he knew without a shadow of a doubt was from beyond the very stars themselves. 


	5. I've got questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets on the Unreliable and settles in for the night

_ _

* * *

After talking with the scientist and setting a course for Groundbreaker, Nia stepped into the shower, letting the warm water wash over her skin and hair. The watcher couldn’t deny that she was taking a small bit of joy in seeing the trails of dirt slide down the drain- it had been a long time since she’d felt actual water, and she was relishing in the sensation of her hands on her scalp and soap foaming on her skin. Soon, she was clean, turning off the water and sighing as she started drying her hair and wrapping herself in a Spacer’s Choice branded towel. 

“So,” Hawthorne drawled, “we gonna talk at all about what the fuck just happened out there with you and the Vicar?”

Nia screamed, desperately trying to cover herself. “Get out!” She swatted at the pilot. "This is so not the fucking time, Hawthorne!”

The ghost rolled his eyes. “My ship, kid. Besides, they’re just boobs- not like I haven’t seen those before.” He looked her up and down, then scoffed. “I don’t know what your old body was like, but I think you got a little screwed on this model, kid.”

“I like my body, thank you very much!” Nia hissed, clutching her towel around her tightly. “And why, pray tell, are you prowling around the bathroom while I shower!”

Hawthorne shrugged. “I wanted to talk to you about what made our resident holy man start babbling sweet nothings in your ear after beating a crowd senseless with nothing but a tossball stick if you don’t mind. Oh, and while you’re at it, care to explain why our goody-two-shoes mechanic didn’t seem to notice a damn thing?”

Nia sighed. Of course he saw it- not only did Hawthorne exist outside of time, but he was also tied to her- he wouldn’t be affected by her moving between the moments with the Vicar. “Because I stopped time, that’s why.”

Hawthorne stared at her blankly, then pointed to the cabinet. “Hairdryer is in there,” he said flatly. “Conversation in our room when you finish, kid.”

 _That_ gave her pause. “What do you mean, ‘our room’? You’re dead, remember?”

“I’m not sleeping somewhere else on my ship when there’s a perfectly good bed in there,” Hawthorne said firmly. “I need to be able to talk to you, not to mention the fact that it’s still my damn ship. Your room comes with a ghost- deal with it. Congrats, kid- most people can’t lay claim to a certifiably haunted spaceship.”

Nia crossed her arms angrily. “Who said I wanted to share a bed with you?”

“Oh come on,” Hawthorne said irritably, “What am I gonna do? No body, remember? Besides,” he said with a wink, “you’re the one who said you wanted to be close to people- congrats, you get your wish.”

“I meant living ones,” Nia hissed, pushing past the pilot and storming out the bathroom, only to crash into the very Vicar they had been discussing, very aware that she was wearing nothing but a towel and a scowl. 

“Miss Hawthorne,” he said with a surprised look, glancing at her sopping wet curls. “I... didn’t know you were in there.”

“Yeah, well I’m not now,” she replied, trying not to blush furiously. _Great, first day in a new body and I’ve already killed a man and almost flashed a Vicar. Banner day for me,_ Nia thought. “I’m gonna just...”

The Vicar frowned, then his eyes widened in understanding. “Oh,” he said quickly. “My apologies- I’ll let you get to your quarters.”

“Yeah... thanks,” she mumbled, trying to edge past him without losing her towel or what was left of her dignity. 

When she arrived in the captain’s quarters, she raced to the drawer and pulled out a pair of Hawthorne’s boxers and a tank top, trying her best not to think about where the shorts had been. “First order of business,” she grumbled as she pulled the shirt over her head, “buy some new clothes.”

“Personally, I think it’s sexy when a woman wears my clothes,” Hawthorne said from the bed. The ghost was draped across the mattress, resting his head in his hands as he smirked at her, clearly enjoying himself. 

“I’m glad you think this is funny,” Nia retorted, hitting the pilot with a pillow. “I’m woefully unprepared for living with other people!”

Hawthorne shrugged. “I did just fine.”

Suddenly, Nia had a thought, and she turned to glare at the man in the bed. “Did you know he was out there?”

The ghost gave a noncommittal shrug. “I had an idea.”

“And you let me go out there in a towel? What the hell is wrong with you, Alex?”

“I thought it was foreplay,” he replied evilly. “After that show outside, I thought you were ready to take it to the next level.” Nia emitted a tortured growl from deep in her throat, and Hawthorne raised his hands. “But I stand corrected. At any rate, what exactly did you do to him, kid?”

After braiding her hair, Nia flopped on the bed, settling down next to the pilot. “I stopped time and pushed him,” she replied. “He was bullshitting me and I needed to know the truth, so I unlocked him a little.” She paused, not knowing how much sense the pilot would be able to make of her ability. “It works best when people are trying to hide things from themselves.”

Hawthorne looked thoughtful. “Sounds interesting.” He paused, then smiled. “Can you unlock me?”

“Nope,” she said quickly. “You’re dead. You exist outside of time, so I’m pretty limited in what I can do to you. Besides making you more corporeal, that is.”

“Is that why I’m not falling through the planet right now?” He looked at his hands, then grabbed one of Nia’s wet braids, letting it hang loosely in his hands. “I don’t get it- I can’t touch anything but you.”

“Your form works the same as a regular body,” she said simply. “Hence why you, unfortunately, can lay down with me.”

“Looks like you’re stuck with me, kid,” Hawthorne said, wrapping his arms around her and snuggling in tight- in response, Nia scowled and swatted his hands away. “I might be able to get used to this.”

“You try anything and I’m going to end you,” Nia growled. “There are worse things than being dead, you know.”

“Oh hush up,” Hawthorne chided, bopping her on the nose. “I’m the only one in this situation that has any right to be pissed off, and if I can deal with it, then you can definitely remove the stick from your ass and settle in for the night.”

“You don’t need sleep,” Nia whined as she tried to get comfortable. When she realized that there was no way around the fact that she’d have to snuggle with the pilot, she groaned, turning her back to him as he rested his arm across her side. “For the love of God, why are you torturing me?”

“Around here, we say Law,” he corrected. “And also- shut up. Get some sleep, kid- ADA will wake us up when we get to Groundbreaker, then you can get some new clothes and feel free to make kissy faces at your Vicar as much as you like.”

“I hate you,” Nia muttered sleepily. “I should’ve left you under that pod, Alex.”

“But you didn’t,” he said with a grin. “Now get some sleep- in the morning, you officially become a Hawthorne, and I’ve got a reputation to maintain, kid.”

_ _

* * *

  
Max couldn’t sleep that night. 

After showering, he had returned to his quarters and tried to go to bed, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw her face staring up at him. If he thought about it hard enough (and he did), Max could still feel her hand resting lightly on his face, her cool smooth skin gently caressing his cheek. Unconsciously, he touched his face, hoping that this time he would get to take her hand in his again and apologize for being such a babbling idiot. In this version of events, he’d say something that would make her smile, and she would give him that laugh that reminded him of a cool summer evening, refreshing and warm at the same time. Max would twirl one of those curls around his finger, bring her closer to him, and-

 _Shit_ , he thought, snapping his eyes open and staring at the ceiling. _For Law’s sake, I’m acting like a teenager with a schoolyard crush,_ he chided himself angrily.

But thanks to his fantasy, Max was now wide awake and thoroughly confused. Knowing that sleep was not going to come without some outside help, he reached in his bag for a bottle of his Iceberg Aged whiskey he saved for emergencies and special occasions. _If this doesn’t count as both, I don’t know what does,_ Max thought as he headed into the mess hall to search for a glass. _A few rounds of this and I should be out_ _like a light._

And he probably would have been if Nia weren’t in the kitchen, staring off into the distance and clad in nothing but a tank top and shorts. 

Immediately, Max wanted to turn around and head back to his quarters. But, the desire for a drink to soothe his nerves was way too strong- if he took his beverage back to his room, he was likely to down the whole thing straight from the bottle, which would be a waste of a good spirit. Max was many things, but a barbarian was not one of them- no matter his mental state, the Vicar was not one to chug a fine whiskey. 

Remembering that he was a law-forsaken adult, Max squared his shoulders and continued into the mess hall, acutely aware of the fact that he was clad only in a t-shirt and a pair of pajama bottoms. “Um,” he said, unsure as to how he should begin, “I’m about to pour myself a nightcap.” When she looked at him blankly, he gestured to the cabinet. “I’m happy to share if you’re interested.”

This got one of those soft smiles he adored from her, and she ran her hands over her hair, To his dismay, it was slightly drier than it was earlier, hanging in two braids down either side of her head. As Max gathered two glasses from the cabinet, he realized that he missed her wild and carefree curls- this version of her, while still beautiful, was more reserved. The Vicar decided he vastly preferred the woman who looked like she was headed everywhere and nowhere at once, and decided that he might try to bring a little bit of that woman back while they drank.

He set down a glass in front of her, smiling gently as he poured her drink. “Can’t sleep?” Max asked as he filled a glass of his own and sat across from her. “I find I’m a bit out of sorts, as it’s my first time away from Edgewater in a very long time.” 

This made her turn to him, interest evident on her face. She rested her chin on her hand as she took a large sip of her drink, making a face when the alcohol touched her tongue. The sight of her wrinkling her nose in disgust made him laugh while he slowly sipped his drink, earning him a scowl from her. “It’s aged, Miss Hawthorne. You sip it slowly, tasting all the flavors and notes on your tongue while you drink. Swigs are for beers and swill- those are drinks you rush to get down your gullet and forget about their existence.” He looked thoughtfully at the amber liquid in the glass, swishing it around gently and watching the trails run down the sides. “No, this spirit is made for contemplation and conversation- consumption is only a side benefit, another way to honor its creation.”

“I never knew that liquor could be poetic,” Nia said softly, watching him as she absentmindedly traced her finger around the rim of the glass. She gingerly took a sip this time, careful to only let a small amount hit her tongue. Max found himself almost ready to launch across the table to kiss the liquor from her lips, but he forced himself to look down instead, not trusting what he might do if he stared into her eyes anymore. “I suppose there are a lot of things I don’t know nowadays. I used to know so much,” she said wistfully, drumming her fingertips lightly on the table. “But now I’m not so sure.”

“You’ve got something on your mind,” Max said softly, looking up at her. “I know you said you don’t require spiritual counseling… but maybe the services of a friend will do?”

“I don’t have any of those,” Nia replied as she stared at her glass, taking another sip. “I have a frenemy and crewmates, but sadly, I am bereft of friendships.” She sighed, resting her head in one hand and her glass in the other. “However, I do appreciate the drink, Vicar.”

“Call me Max,” he replied. “If I’m to call you Nia, then it’s only appropriate for you to have the freedom to do the same.”

”Max it is, then,” Nia said with a smile, as she stared into his eyes, making him blush. “Pleasure to meet the man outside the robes.”

He extended his hand, but before he could take hers in his, Nia began to speak. “I’d rather hug you,” she blurted out, then clapped her hand to her mouth. “Oh god, I can’t believe I said that… and I can’t even blame the alcohol!” 

Instead of being taken aback, Max simply smiled and rose from his chair. Rather than run back to his quarters, which he could tell was what she was expecting, he finished his drink and moved to the couch on the other side of the room, patting the seat next to him. “I should think it would be easier on the couch than rather on opposite sides of the table, wouldn’t you?”

“I wasn’t trying to offend you,” Nia said quickly. “I was just-“ She hung her head. “I’m an idiot,” she whispered. “I should have never come here- maybe that’s why…” Nia trailed off. “Look, I’m sorry… I’m just going to go.”

“Nonsense,” Max said sharply. “Come here.” He didn’t mean for it to be an order, but the way her head snapped up told him that she took it that way, so he tried again and offered a slightly forced smile. “Please.” 

“All right,” Nia replied with a sigh, making her way over to the couch to sit next to him. “If you’re sure you don’t mind.”

This time, the smile on Max’s face was genuine as he once again gestured to the seat next to him. “I assure you, I don’t.” 

When she sat down, it was as if the air had become supercharged with electricity- every hair on his arm was acutely aware of her nearness, practically standing at attention when she brushed against his skin. Gathering all the strength he had and hoping she wouldn’t punch him in the jaw for it, Max wrapped an arm around her shoulders. As the moments ticked by, he waited for her to push him away, but Max almost gasped when he felt her hands wrap themselves around his waist and her head burying itself in his side. 

Not wanting to break whatever spell this was or wake up from what had to be a dream, Max simply held her tightly, rubbing his hand up and down her bare shoulder. “What’s wrong,” he whispered as he leaned over, inhaling the scent of soap and cinnamon as he held her tight to him. “Nia,” he said gently, “talk to me.” 

“I’m not a very good person,” she mumbled into his chest. “I think I just want to go back to the way I was before.” 

“That’s an interesting sentiment,” he replied, rubbing small circles on her back. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Not really,” she replied. “It’s too big. Besides, I owe... “ She blew out a breath and Max wondered if she was going to move away from him- surprisingly, he found himself tensing up at the thought of her breaking contact. “I just can’t,” she said simply, continuing to hug him tightly. “But can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course,” Max said, relaxing and settling on the couch as Nia curled up in his lap. His arm rested lightly against her back, watching her bury her face in his shirt as his fingertips lightly traced lines on her bare shoulders. Max wanted nothing more than to lean down and kiss her, but he didn’t- he knew that he was closer than he deserved to be. 

He didn’t know her and she didn’t know him- this would have to be enough.

“I haven’t been touched by a person in years,” she admitted. “I just need to be close to someone.” Nia let out a deep sigh, and Max couldn’t be sure it wasn’t a sob. “I think I’m real, but sometimes I’m not sure,” she whispered. “I feel like I’m doing everything wrong out here, Max.” 

“Is this ok?” He asked softly, turning his head to look down at her as he squeezed her tighter, relishing the feeling of her against him. “Does this help?"

Nia nodded, not removing her face from his chest. “It does.”

Max smiled, his large hand resting on the small of her back. “I don’t know if it will help, but I can assure you… you are more real than anything I’ve ever known, Nia."

“That’s kind of you to say,” she replied with a yawn, stifling it with his shirt. 

Max fought to not react to the sensation of her warm breath seeping through the thin cloth, choosing to run his hands over the braids instead. “You know, “ he replied with a smile, “I think I like your curls better. This isn’t you,” he said simply. 

He could feel her smile against him. “That’s kind of you, but unless you want to comb out a slew of tangled, curly hair, braided me is exactly what you’re going to get at night around here.”

“I’ve handled sermons and seminary school- I’m sure I could manage a comb and a few tangles,” Max replied with a sleepy smile, leaning his head back against the wall as he twirled the end of her braid in his hand. “It’d be worth it to see you smile.” 

“You’ve seen me smile,” she murmured, then let out another yawn and shifted in his lap. “Looks like I’m falling asleep- guess I should get back to my room.” She smiled, squeezing his arm. “Seriously, Max, thank you- you have no idea how much this meant to me."

“This couch is comfortable,” Max replied, ignoring her as he traced his fingers on her cheek. “Maybe we should just stay here for the night… what do you think?” 

"The captain shouldn’t be seen cuddling the Vicar on the couch,” Nia replied sleepily. “It’s against a code or something."

“But the captain should be watched by the Vicar after taking one too many hits out there today,” he answered as he smoothed her hair. “It’s the right thing to do, after all.” 

Nia paused, biting her lip in thought. He could tell she was considering it, so he tried a bit harder. “And if it brings the captain comfort so she can focus on our mission, I practically see it as my duty to do so.”

This statement broke her resolve- he smiled to himself as she rewarded his efforts with a soft chuckle. “Well, if it’s your duty and the right thing to do,” Nia said, climbing further into his lap and resting her head on his shoulder, "then who am I to argue?”

“A sound decision,” Max said sleepily, tracing her face with his fingers. “This is why you’re our captain, Nia."

“Feel free to tell me to go away, Max,” she murmured. "I know I’m invading your space, and while I’m clueless on most things, I’m pretty sure sleeping with a girl in your lap is probably conduct unbecoming a Vicar.” 

“In this case, it’s medically necessary,” Max replied, wrapping an arm around her and softly moving his fingertips across the thin fabric covering her stomach. “In the meantime,” he said, using his other hand to sweep his thumb across her forehead, “relax and get some sleep, Captain.”

“If you insist,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around him as her breathing slowly evened out and her head began to rest heavy against his shoulder.

Max glanced at the woman in his arms, still not quite sure how he’d gotten there- he didn’t know her and she certainly didn’t know him, but he couldn’t think of a single place he’d rather be right then. _I can worry about everything else in the morning,_ he thought. _Right now, I’m going to sit here and relax- it’s all part of the plan, after all._

He didn’t know exactly when he fell asleep with his hands in her hair, but he awoke in the morning to the sounds of Miss Holcomb stirring in her room. Looking down, he found Nia’s tiny form still in his lap, arms circling his neck while she slept, and he smiled as he traced her face with his fingers. She hadn’t woken up or moved, and Max discovered that he had no desire to leave- instead, he just sat there, listening to the sound of her breathing as she slept against him, the rhythmic sound of her soft snores lulling him into a state of calm he’d only ever dreamed of reaching.


	6. Breaking new ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew arrives on Groundbreaker, where it's a little too warm for Nia

_ _

* * *

Nia frowned as she looked around Hawthorne’s room, trying to figure out what she could wear. Since Hawthorne was nowhere near her height, everything he owned caused Nia to resemble a child playing in her mother’s clothes. After digging in the closet for what felt like an eternity, she finally located a pair of jeans that would actually stay up on her and turned to the apparition, huffing with exasperation. “Alex,” she said wearily, “please tell me you own a pair of scissors- I have to trim these jeans or I’m going to kill myself trying to walk around today.”

Hawthorne gave her a look that could cut glass. “You really don’t think before you talk, do you?” 

She glared at him, placing her hands on her hips. “Stop being difficult, Alex- I’m trying to not go out here looking homeless. This is supposed to be my ship, remember?” 

The pilot snorted. “Hate to break it to you, but I don’t think either of your 'crew' believes that this is your ship, kid,” Hawthorne said with a grin. “Your cozy little rendezvous with the vicar notwithstanding, they both know something’s up, so I think you need to come up with something to tell them.”

“Well I can’t bloody well tell them the full truth,” Nia snapped. “I don’t deal with church people for a reason- my very existence tends to shatter faith, and people don’t take too kindly to having their world view yanked from underneath them.”

“I’m sure old Maximilian wouldn’t mind being underneath you,” Hawthorne quipped, ignoring the death glare Nia gave him. Sighing, he pointed at a drawer. “There are scissors in there.”

“Can you cut these,” Nia pleaded, waving her leg out to the pilot. “As much as I hate asking, I realize I need help.”

“Can’t grab anything, remember?” Hawthorne said cheerfully, sitting on the seat and folding his hands behind his head. “Looks like someone needs to learn to be a big girl, huh?”

“You’re impossible,” Nia growled, yanking open the drawer and grabbing the scissors, trimming the too-long pants to the tops of her boots. "Just when I think you might be a decent person, you just have to go and prove me wrong, don’t you?”

“I’m honest, which is more than you can say about most people... present company included.” He stared at her as she cut the pants. “At least tell them you’re from the Hope- that wouldn’t be a lie, and it would explain the weirdness. No one’s seen the colonists for seventy years, so you’d have an excuse for being a nutjob in a stolen ship.”

Nia thought about it as she adjusted the altered pants, wrapping the belt around her waist tightly. It made sense- give people a portion of the truth, and they would be less likely to look for the rest. Even with Hawthorne being as perceptive as he was, the ghost hadn’t asked for the whole story. Granted, she’d probably have to tell him later, but she wasn’t finding too many reasons to share the whole of her existence with the surly dead man right now. “I suppose you’re right,” she replied reluctantly. “It’s a good a story as any.” She let out a sigh. “I suppose I have to confess to the pod killing you as well, don’t I?”

“Yes!” Hawthorne crowed as he shot out of his chair and danced around the room. “I shall finally be avenged!” Nia just frowned at him, causing the pilot to chuckle. “Just kidding, kid.”

“It’s not funny, Alex,” she groused. “I'm going to look like a murderer in front of my new crew.”

“Is it the crew or the clergy you're worried about?” Hawthorne teased. "Scared you won't get any more late-night snuggle sessions when a certain vicar finds out you’ve had another man underneath you?"

"No, I'm scared they'll turn me in," she hissed back. "A life sentence is a very long time when you can't die all that easily, Alex!"

"Good point." The apparition looked as if he was considering this for a moment, then brightened. "Then tell them I died saving you!" When Nia just looked at him, he tugged at her shirt. "No, it makes sense! Think about it- the dashing smuggler, tasked with saving the young surviving colonist from a long-forgotten ship, killed tragically in the line of duty when saving the damsel from imminent harm." He flopped back on the bed, reaching out to her dramatically. "His dying wish was for her to complete the mission, the mission he gave his life for." When he finished, he rolled over and smiled. "It's even better than a serial, Nia!"

Nia frowned as she laced her boots. "Really? Do I have to say all that?"

"Unless you'd rather be thought of a thieving murderer instead of a stranded traveler on a mission to save the world, then yes," Hawthorne replied. "It's good stuff, kid- maybe I should've been a writer instead. I might have lived longer, at least."

"Judging by how much I want to strangle you right now, probably not." Nia adjusted her clothes, then stood up straight and looked at the pilot. "So, how do I look?" 

"Like a tiny murdering hobo," Hawthorne replied. "You really need some new clothes, kid." He gestured to the tossball stick next to the bed. "And you might want to let the crazy churchman give you a few pointers- he seems to know how to handle a stick."

Nia paused for a second, then scowled when Hawthorne started smirking at her. Realizing his attempt at a double entendre, she groaned, swatting at the man. "You're impossible, Alex."

"And I'm all yours," he replied, giving her a mocking grin. "You're welcome, by the way."

_ _

* * *

"So that's the story," Nia said flatly, looking down as she talked. "I didn't want to go any further without telling you guys what you were getting into."

"My Law," Parvati breathed, staring at Nia in amazement. "I swear, it's like an aetherwave serial!" 

Um..." Nia said as she glanced at Hawthorne, clearly unsure what to do with this feedback. "Thank you, I guess?"

Hawthorne smirked, elbowing the tiny woman in the side as she sat in the chair next to him. "Told you," he whispered. The woman didn’t respond- she just turned her head, glaring at the apparition out of the corner of her eye. “I hate you,” Nia mouthed silently, causing the pilot to grin. 

The mechanic, however, didn't notice her hesitation. "If it were, I'd bet Hawthorne was handsome and dashing too!" She slumped against the chair, hands over her chest. "It's so tragic!" Then she looked at Nia and her eyes went wide. "I mean, if it weren't your life, Cap'n."

The Vicar, however, was silent, mulling over what she’d told the two of them. “So you’ve been frozen for the last 70 years?”

“Yes,” Nia said softly, looking down. The pilot knew that she technically wasn’t lying- the body she had inhabited was frozen for the last 70 years, even if she was much older. Hawthorne noted that she looked extremely uncomfortable, and he wondered how much of that was the topic or the potential judgment from what he could plainly see was her crush. He wondered what they had talked about last night, because suddenly the Vicar got an expression of understanding on his face, walking over to Nia and wrapping her in his arms. “This explains quite a bit,” he whispered in her ear, his voice barely audible to the pilot staring over her shoulder. “I offer you my sympathies, Nia.”

“I don’t want your pity,” she replied softly as she hugged him back. “I have enough issues without having to deal with that as well.”

“What the hell did you two do last night?” Hawthorne asked as he watched the two of them embrace each other. “Since when did we move on to hugs in the kitchen?"

Parvati let out a tiny gasp of excitement when she realized what the two of them were doing, and the Vicar stepped away from her, clearing his throat. “I would never offer you pity, Nia,” he responded as he straightened his vestments. “Support, comfort, and friendship, yes. But never pity.”

“I need to get some clothes,” Nia said, not verbally acknowledging his statement. However, Hawthorne noticed her squeeze the Vicar's hand, and he smiled when he noticed the slight flush that crept up Max's neck as he gripped hers back. 

—

If he wasn’t already dead, he was pretty sure Nia would have tried to murder him when they arrived on the station.

“What do you mean, ‘impounded’?” Nia yelled. "I’ve only just arrived- how could I do anything to warrant my ship being impounded?”

 _Oh no_ , Hawthorne thought as he could feel the tiny girl’s ire rising, _please don’t say what I think you’re going to say... it was a one-night stand- how mad could the man be?_

“I’m sorry ma’am,” the Mardet said, wiping the sweat from his brow. “But by order of Udom Bedford, we have orders to impound the Unreliable on sight. If you want to get that handled, feel free to speak to him.”

“Udom, huh?” Nia said, turning to glare at the ghost, who just shrugged. _Maybe this has nothing to do with the letter I sent the man- it’s entirely possible the bureaucrat has another bug up his ass._ “Who’s that?” 

“He's the Groundbreaker's representative of the Halcyon Holdings Corporation,” the Mardet said simply. “If you want to get this straightened out, you’ll have to talk to him and he’s not back in his office until tomorrow.” 

“I’ll see that I find him,” Nia said firmly. “I swear,” she growled, staring at Hawthorne- to the others, she just looked as if she were staring in the distance, but the pilot could feel the heat from her stare. “If I find the person that caused all this mess, I might just drop a house on them!” 

Parvati reached over and patted her shoulder. “It’s alright, Cap'n- I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding. We can go talk to him and get it straightened out, no problem.” The mechanic looked over at the Vicar with a pleading expression, clearly hoping the Vicar could soothe some of the captain’s anger about the inconvenience. “Right, Vicar Max?”

“Of course, Miss Holcomb.” He wrapped an arm around Nia’s waist, then leaned over as he guided the woman away and towards the entrance to the station. Curious as to what the Vicar was saying, Hawthorne strode over, leaning in to eavesdrop and relishing the fact that the woman couldn’t swat him away without anyone noticing. “If it’s all right with you, I’d like to look into a possible lead for my translator while we’re here.”

“Of course, Max,” Nia replied, slipping her hand around his waist. “I’m happy to help.”

“We may have to use that invention you found of the doctor’s to get past security,” he whispered. “Once inside, I can hack a terminal and find out where the last known destination of the translator was.” 

Hawthorne raised an eyebrow at this. _Why is a holy man hacking into terminals?_ He frowned and crossed his arms as he watched the Vicar walk with the girl, their arms wrapped around each other as if it were the most natural thing in the world. _Something isn’t right here, and I’m going to find out what it is_ , he thought. _She might not see it... but I sure do._

 _The best part of being dead_ , Hawthorne decided, _is that I now have carte blanche to be as nosy as I like_. 

_ _

* * *

“Where would I find toiletries and clothes?” Nia asked, braiding her hair back. It was so hot on the station that she was sweating buckets, and the sensation of her hair on her neck was driving her insane. “I can’t take this heat anymore!” 

Parvati nodded. “Maybe we should find the engineer- I might be able to help them out. You know, offer them a fresh set of eyes and all.”

“I’ll be happy to do whatever I need to do in order to not melt into a puddle,” Nia replied, flapping her hands in front of her face in a fruitless attempt at creating a breeze. “In fact, I’m dying right now.” Since it wasn’t working in the slightest, she turned to the mechanic and huffed. "How are you two not dying right now?" 

Max gave her a small smile. "It's really not that bad, Nia. Uncomfortable, yes, but it's hardly the danger you're making it out to be."  
  
Parvati shrugged. "Ain't no worse than being parked under an engine when you're tryin' to get it running again, Cap'n. You get used to it." Then she lowered her voice and leaned in toward the girl. "Maybe it's worse for you... since you've been frozen so long."

Nia just sighed- the mechanic was more right than she knew, considering she hadn't experienced actual temperatures in centuries. Looking at the two of them in their full gear was just making her even hotter- Parvati looked fine in her t-shirt, but other than the fact that Max's vestments looked a bit more damp than usual and his hair was slick to his head, the Vicar was just as put together as he was when they'd left the ship this morning. Just looking at him in his velvety garments was making her sweat even more, and she found herself fighting back an overwhelming urge to persuade him to unbutton his clothes, highly aware that her desire to see him in what would undoubtedly be a sopping wet t-shirt would be a driving and unwholesome factor in that decision. 

Shaking the thought from her head, she turned to the mechanic. "Parvati, do you have a pair of scissors or a knife in that bag of yours?” 

“Um, I might,” she said, rummaging through her satchel and coming up with a pair of scissors. “Yup, I do- here you are, Cap'n.” 

“Oh thank god,” Nia said happily, leaning over and cutting off a leg from her jeans. “I’m not spending another moment in these hot ass pants!” 

“Well," Hawthorne remarked as he looked Nia up and down, "now we can all practically see your ass,” Hawthorne replied. “On the plus side, If he didn’t have a good view before, your Vicar is going to be praising the Law for what you guys say is the oppressive heat out here. Score another point for being dead, I suppose.”

Nia chose to ignore him- she was beyond hot and uncomfortable, so any relief she could get, she was going to take. However, the pilot continued, undaunted, letting out a snicker as he looked over at Max. "Well, I'll be... seems like your boy-toy over there is finally getting a little hot under the collar there, kid."

She cut her eyes in the Vicar's direction, and immediately noticed what the ghost had clearly seen- Max had begun to unbutton his cossack and was quickly turning a fierce shade of red. Soon, he had opened his robes and exposed his white undershirt, which was just as sweaty and clingy as Nia had imagined it would be, and she had to turn away to hide her smile. _While I swear I didn't do that,_ she thought as she caught the glimmers of chest hair pressed against the fabric of his shirt, _I'd be a goddamn fool if I complained about it._

Trying her damnedest to ignore the way his shirt was clinging to his surprisingly toned body, Nia squared her shoulders and tried to forget about the fact that she had massacred her clothing and caused the Vicar to look like a winner in a wet t-shirt contest. “Parvati, why don’t you and Max head to engineering while I go and get some things- I’ll meet you down there after I drop my purchases off at the ship.”

Max looked at her with an indignant look that was completely at odds with his state of undress. “You will do no such thing, Nia- Miss Holcomb and I are more than happy to help you with your purchases. Besides, in your present condition, you are in no way prepared to be left alone.” He lowered his voice, only audible to the three of them- four if you counted the man that no one except Nia could see. “You’ve been away for quite some time- things have changed out here, Nia.” 

Nia sighed. “I just hate to have you two traipsing around the station and shopping with me- I’m sure you have more important things to do.”

“Nonsense,” Max replied, wrapping a hand around her shoulders. “It’s common sense- we stick together.” 

“I suppose.” She smiled at the man, wondering why he was being so nice to her. Before, she would simply read his mind, but now she was just as blind to his thoughts as any other person- only his threads and choices remained, and even those weren’t solid yet. She had no idea how people could manage seeing just the one reality at a time- it was extremely limiting, and she felt like she was constantly a step behind where she should be. However, since Parvati threads were a bit more solid, she decided to start there, turning to the other woman with a smile. “How about we get you to the engineer first? At least then I won’t feel like a jerk for letting the station roast without having the best mechanic in the galaxy check into the issue for them- I can deal with being in booty shorts for a little longer if the Vicar can deal with those hot-looking robes.”

Pavarti blushed at the praise, but the Vicar gave her a small smirk. “Are you saying that you prefer me in my nightclothes, Miss Hawthorne?”

“Maybe…” Nia gave him a wicked grin. “But it seems like you’ll never know, dear Vicar.”

“My dear, I am a man of the cloth.” He leaned over, brushing the sticky curl that had escaped from her braid out of her face as he stared at her, causing her to shiver despite the intense heat. “Confession is my specialty, Miss Hawthorne.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mad props to [WhenYouGrowUpYourHeartDies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenYouGrowUpYourHeartDies/pseuds/WhenYouGrowUpYourHeartDies) for being a beta on this- if you haven't read their stuff, you're missing out, so TAKE A LOOK!


	7. Strange Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max and Nia find a part for Junlei; Parvati and Nia decide to go for a drink

_ _

* * *

Though she was clad in only a tight white tank top that was see-through with sweat and the cutoff shorts she’d hastily made that morning, Nia still insisted on helping the engineer procure the part she required. When Max politely suggested that they find her something more suitable to wear, she simply asked if he really thought her adding more clothes would help her not die from heatstroke. In response, he’d retorted that anything would offer more protection than the scraps of cloth she called clothing and she’d be better off warm than dead. This was met with an icy stare and stone silence from her, and Max let out a weary sigh as he gestured for her to lead the way. 

As Max walked through the station with the silent woman out of time, he discovered he was still reeling from her earlier admission. Granted, he’d known something was out of place with her, but he’d never guessed that she was one of the colonists on the Hope. He’d heard stories about the ship- everyone knew about the tragic fate of those colonists that were never recovered, forever lost to space and time. Like everyone else, he’d thought it nothing but a fanciful tale, but here she stood in front of him, resplendent in all her impossible glory. His brain wanted to dismiss her stories, but her strange behavior, coupled with her strange admission the night before, made a sad kind of sense that Max couldn’t rationalize away. 

_Law, why is she affecting me so?_

Feeling responsible for their current distance and starting to feel the effects of the sweltering heat, Max decided to try again, adjusting his collar and trying to ignore the sweat pooling in his undershirt. "Miss Hawthorne," he said, opening the elevator door and waiting for her to get inside, "I apologize if I offended you earlier- I was merely hoping to help."

Nia didn't respond- she just looked him up and down, then turned to face him as the elevator doors closed and they descended into the lower levels of the station. As the car began to move, Max swallowed nervously- even though she barely came up to his chest, Max felt extremely small under her gaze. "Though I may look young," she said in a tone that made a chill run down his spine when she spoke, despite the oppressive temperature in the elevator, "I am not a child, Max- as I told you once before, I don't need your protection."

He sighed. "I was only trying-" 

"I know what you were trying to do," she replied. "While I can do without your judgment," she said as she turned to him, threading her smaller hand in his, "your companionship is quite thoroughly desired, Maximilian."

At this, the Vicar let out a smile, relaxing a little as the elevator came to a stop. "As is yours, Nia."

\--

As the two of them entered the Back Bays to find the missing part for the engineer, Max felt his blood start to boil at the way the idiot at the door was leering at Nia. She was trying to be polite and ask nicely for his assistance, but the boorish man was barely listening to her, choosing to ogle her chest through the sheer fabric instead. When she tried patiently to get through to him for the umpteenth time despite his lecherous gaze, Max felt the last vestiges of his calm slipping away.

A low growl built in his throat and he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling Nia close to him as he glared at the man. “I believe she asked you a question,” Max growled, vibrating with rage. “And I daresay she’s been waiting rather politely for an answer.”

“Calm down, holy man,” the man jeered. “Me and your parishioner are just...” he looked her up and down, licking his lips, “engaging in some conversation, that’s all.”

Max went stiff, and he felt himself about to pull out his shotgun and blast the idiot in the face when Nia stood on her tiptoes and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek as she whispered in his ear. “I don’t need your protection, remember?”

Stunned, Max could only watch as Nia placed a hand on the man’s arm and asked her question again, forcing him to focus on her face and not her figure. This time the man blinked, finally appearing to hear what she had to say. Max looked on in surprise as the man handed her a lighter from his pocket and stepped aside, finally allowing them inside the room.

“What was all that?” Max hissed angrily as they gathered the parts Junlei needed. “You just put yourself in unnecessary danger, Miss Hawthorne!”

“No, you almost started a fight,” she replied calmly. “I was trying to get him to calm down so we could get his bounty from that commander from earlier and get these parts without us having to take out the whole crew down here.” Nia smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know if you noticed this or not, but I can’t fight or shoot all that well, so I prefer to handle things with words instead.”

“I had noticed that, yes,” Max replied, trying his best not to stare at her backside as she fished in a crate for some bits as they left. “It might be beneficial for you to learn how to properly handle a weapon, Miss Hawthorne."

She scoffed at him as they headed for the tiny elevator. Once inside, she stood in front of him, her eyes dancing with merriment. Her hair was wild and her shirt was stained with dust and dirt, but Max was having a hard time keeping his hands off her. Before he could say another word, Nia had stepped closer, close enough to smell the scent of salty sweat coming off her skin. “Are you offering to teach me, Max?”

“Of course,” he said huskily, pulling her toward him and pressing her against him. Between the heat from the station and the closeness of her, Max thought he was in danger of combusting into flames. “I’d be happy to show you.”

“And you need to wrap me in your arms to do so?” Nia asked, staring into his eyes. “Is that part of training or is there another reason?”

“Should I not?” Max asked quietly. “Would you want there to be another reason?” 

“You don’t know me, Max,” she said as she stared up at him. “I’ve already told you, I’m not a very good person.”

“I don’t know if I agree,” he replied as he leaned down and kissed her, no longer giving a damn about propriety as he tasted the salt on her skin and lost himself in the sensation of his mouth pressed against hers. In his head, he meant it to be a soft brush of their lips, a mere glimpse into what he wanted, but when he connected with her, it was as if a switch went off in his head. Max found himself wanting to claim her mouth for his own, wishing he could ruin her for anyone else but him- he’d been the first man to touch her in over seventy years, and he felt an overwhelming need to be the last. The Vicar needed her to remember the feel of his lips against hers as he ran his fingers through her sweaty curls- when she let out a soft whimper, Max was instantly flooded with the desire to see what other noises he could coax from her throat. 

Just as he was starting to feel as if he’d overstepped his bounds, he found himself letting out a soft moan as she began to kiss him back, her mouth wet and hot against his. At that moment, Max felt like the whole world had stopped- he didn’t care if they ever fixed the law-forsaken radiator, if they ever got off this station, or even the disappointing journal. For him, all that mattered was her tiny form pressed against him, and when Max felt the pleasurable sting of her teeth on his skin, he groaned as he pulled her closer, desperate to forget everything but the feeling of her in his arms. 

All too soon, he felt the elevator stop, and he sighed against her forehead as the doors opened, bringing them back to reality once again. “I’m wondering if we didn’t forget something down there,” he said with a smile as he placed a soft kiss on her neck. “Maybe we should go back and check.”

Nia let out a soft laugh, placing a light kiss of her own on his bruised lips. “I think we’ve done enough, don’t you?”

“Not nearly,” he murmured as he ran his hand through her hair and traced her cheek with his thumb. “There seem to be quite a few things we need to discuss, Miss Hawthorne.”

“Then I’m looking forward to our chat,” Nia said as she headed off towards Junlei's office, giving the Vicar a look that sent his pulse racing and made him wonder about the strange hold she most certainly had over him.

_  
_

* * *

They had fixed the radiator, but Nia still felt like she was roasting from the inside out. She and Max hadn’t spoken about what had occurred in the elevator yet, but it was still there, hanging above them like an oppressive cloud. Unconsciously, Nia touched her lips, causing Max to smirk- she had no idea how to put into words how she felt about him, but she knew that avoiding the issue wouldn’t be an option for much longer. 

_How do you tell someone something that‘s going to save you but just might destroy them?_ Nia wondered. _Do you even have a right to?_

She could see Hawthorne hovering out the corner of her eye, and she’d been doing her best to ignore him as they made their way back to the ship for the night. She finally had clothes that fit, and she wanted to change before she met with Phineas’s contact. While the clothes weren’t much to look at, they were hers and she was proud of them- for the first time in her entire existence, she had something of her very own, and she couldn’t be happier. Considering she hadn’t worn actual clothes in centuries, all Nia wanted was something that allowed her to move and feel free, and the few items she was able to scrounge up more than delivered. While the clothes weren’t fancy by any means, Nia was in love with the soft denim jeans and shirts she’d found- they made her feel more like a person and less like an outsider in Halcyon. However, she had to stifle a laugh when she picked up the Spratwurst t-shirt- the feel of the soft cotton under her fingers made her almost forget that the shirt was referring to a food consisting of animal she’d never even seen before. When she joyously showed it to Max, he’d rolled his eyes and called it ridiculous, but Nia fought back a smile when she noticed the Vicar purchasing the silly item and tucking it away in his pocket. 

“So” the pilot began, rubbing his hands together, “we should get you back to the ship so you can shower… _alone_ ,” he said pointedly. “Most people don’t go around cuddling up and sucking face with the man they just met a few days ago.” When Nia shot a glare in his direction, he amended his statement. “Well, unless you’re me- if I don’t have my tongue down your throat within the first five minutes, I consider that a wasted opportunity.” 

Nia fought hard not to roll her eyes at the apparition, choosing to rub her temples instead and cause Parvati to look at her curiously. “You all right there, Cap'n? Is the heat getting to you?”

At that, Max smirked at Nia, the look in his eyes doing nothing to calm the butterflies in her stomach. “Yes, Miss Hawthorne,” he said teasingly, resting a hand on her arm that sent a scorching heat throughout her body. “Is everything alright? Do you require any assistance?”

“Just a headache,” Nia said brightly, smiling at the girl and trying to ignore the Vicar’s gentle teasing. “Nothing to worry about. But thank you for your concern.”

“No trouble at all,” Parvati replied, seemingly oblivious to the interactions between Nia and Max. "I’m just happy we were able to help Junlei- I mean Miss Tennyson… she does a lot around here, and she doesn’t have a lot of help.”

Max just shook his head and smiled, giving Nia’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before walking ahead of them. “Sounds like you enjoyed working with her,” Nia replied, trying to focus on what the girl was saying while watching Max out of the corner of her eye. “Should I be worried that I’m going to lose my mechanic to the Groundbreaker?”

The mechanic blushed furiously. “Oh no- I mean- I can’t- she doesn’t-“

Hawthorne chuckled. “Did I spill a container of Rapt musk on my ship or something? What’s with all the schoolyard crushes? Are _you_ doing this?” He gave Nia a curious look and then looked at Max, who was now leaning casually against the ship and wearing a shit-eating grin that made Nia unable to decide if she wanted to kiss him or slap him. 

Surreptitiously shaking her head at the pilot and working hard to fight the completely inappropriate urge to pinch Max’s ass and take him down a notch, Nia gave the mechanic a soft chuckle. “It’s ok, Parvati- I’m just happy you aren’t leaving us just yet. My ship is called the Unreliable for a very good reason.”

She gave Nia a grateful look. “Oh no- nothing like that!” Then she looked thoughtful and glanced down at her feet. “I was wondering though… since we’re stuck here for the night, did you want to grab a drink over at the Last Hope? I wanted to chat and pick your brain for a minute… if you don’t mind, that is,” she said quickly. 

“You mean like two friends?” Nia’s eyes brightened and she gave the girl a wide smile. “I’d love to, Parvati!” She started to walk away, then she wheeled back around. “Oh! I should shower and get dressed first!” Then she paused, looking hopeful. “I mean... if that’s alright with you.”

Parvati just laughed. “I think that might be a right fine idea for all of us, Cap’n- we’ve all been knee-deep in it today. I don’t know if the folks at the bar will appreciate the smell of engine grease like I do.”

“My first time out in Halcyon!” Nia said happily. “I’m looking forward to it!” 

“You know what? So am I,” Parvati said. “Never got out too much on Edgewater.” The mechanic looked at Nia, her eyes hopeful. “I mean, this should be fun, right?”

“I’d certainly hope so,” Nia replied with a laugh. “Come find me after your shower and we’ll walk over, ok?” 

“Will do, Cap’n!” Parvati said as they continued their journey toward the ship. When she approached the Vicar she paused, looking at Max with concern. “You gonna be okay by your lonesome while we’re gone, Vicar?” 

When the mechanic addressed him, the Vicar just chuckled. “I’m more than capable of entertaining myself, Miss Holcomb. I think I’ll stay in and catch the latest tossball game while you two enjoy yourselves.”

“Okay, this is a plan I can get behind,” Hawthorne chimed in. “Finally, someone who appreciates good entertainment. All I’d need is a beer and my night would be complete." He smiled at Nia, then winked. “Is your friend going to last without your tongue down his throat?”

Nia fought the urge to smack the pilot, but when Pavarti moved a bit ahead, Max leaned over to whisper in her ear. “First girls night in seventy years, I take it?"

Nia nodded. “Longer than that, if we’re being honest. As I said, I am woefully bereft of friendships, Vicar.” 

“I think we’re a bit beyond titles, Nia.” Max gave her a smile and a soft kiss on her cheek. “And I thought we established my goal is to be your friend, at the very least.” 

“You don’t know me, Max,” Nia said with a smile as she closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his lips on her skin. “And I certainly don’t know you.”

“Then we should talk when you get back,” he replied, kissing the side of her neck. “I see no reason why we can’t remedy that with some pleasant discourse and a nightcap.”

Nia laughed. “Are you sure we’re going to actually talk?”

“Amongst other things,” Max replied with a grin. “Besides, I think that we can find plenty to discuss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man,[WhenYouGrowUpYourHeartDies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenYouGrowUpYourHeartDies/pseuds/WhenYouGrowUpYourHeartDies) pulled though an MVP-level beta of this chapter, giving me a much-needed kick in the ass to straighten some things out. Feedback is king, and I love it when writers chime in and lend their expertise- sometimes you need a second set of eyes, and when they love the characters as much as you do... the results are _Magnifique!_
> 
> Seriously, thanks to anyone and everyone who's stopping by- I'm in the plague capital of the US of A right now, so this is a great outlet while I'm stuck in the house. Feel free to leave kudos and/or comments, feeding the homebound author is a beautiful thing, trust me.


	8. Some people shouldn't drink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nia and Parvati go to a bar; Max watches a tossball game

_ _

* * *

Hawthorne shook his head as he watched Max stare longingly at Nia and Parvati as they left the ship. The pilot did have to give it to her—when the tiny headache finally found some clothes that fit, she cleaned up rather nicely. Nia was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of jeans that fit her for once, finally showing the curves that the pilot had only seen when she showered. In addition to that, she’d fluffed out her curls, put on a little lipstick, and was smiling like a real person- he had to admit, she did look rather nice that evening. Hell, if she hadn’t killed him, Hawthorne might have even considered her attractive.

And if Hawthorne was surprised by her change he could tell that the Vicar was practically straining at the seams — Max had gone red when Nia exited her room, shrugging casually into Hawthorne’s old leather jacket and waving to them as she headed off to the bar. The ghost was hoping Max would have done something,  _ anything _ , but it wasn’t to be-  _ it’s like living in the house with a bunch of fucking teenagers _ , the pilot thought.  _ He should just go over to her, swing her in his arms, and tell her how he feels… like Spencer Woolrich did in that one episode of that terrible ‘Terror on Monarch” serial _ .

But the door had closed and the girls were gone, leaving the pilot alone with the Vicar. Hawthorne flopped on the couch, then grumbled and moved as Max made his way over with a drink in his hand, tuning in to the latest tossball game- tonight, Rizzo’s Rangers were playing against the Hammersmith Thunder and despite his unwanted company, Hawthorne was looking forward to a relaxing evening watching the game. The ghost wished he could have a nice glass of Spectrum Violet, or even a beer, but at this point he was happy with what he could get. 

So unbeknownst to Max, Hawthorne watched the game, cheering along with the Vicar as the match progressed. While Hawthorne was getting more excited with every play, he would often catch Max checking the time and glancing at the door. “ADA,” Max called out, “Captain Hawthorne hasn’t returned yet, has she?”

“I’m afraid not,” ADA replied. “Just as she had not the last two times you asked me.”

“I see.” Then the Vicar paused. “I apologize for the interruption- it’s just that it has been some time and they haven’t returned- I’m starting to get concerned.”

“It’s been two hours,” ADA replied. “Captain Hawthorne has set an alarm for seven in the morning, so it is my guess that she is aware of the intricacies of telling time, Mister DeSoto.”

The Vicar bristled, causing Hawthorne to shake his head. “I suppose you’re right, ADA,” he replied tersely. “Again, thank you for your assistance.”

“I await your senseless checking for our captain in the not-too-distant future, Maximilian DeSoto."

The ghost snickered, and Max sat back on the couch, defeated. Hawthorne knew it would only be a bit longer before the Vicar got restless again, but he was hoping Max could keep it together for a little longer- he didn’t want the man to turn off the game. The match was almost over, but the pilot desperately needed to know the final score- he had a nice amount of money riding on this game, and Hawthorne had every intention of getting another body and starting his new life in Halcyon as a very handsome… and a very rich man.

_ _

* * *

“So, are you going to talk to her?” Nia asked Parvati as they sat in the Last Hope, sipping on the remnants of her wine. She’d already seen that the poor girl was on her way to being sauced, so she’d quickly suggested that Parvati switch over to water. That being said, Nia had no such reservations about drinking every single drink they’d placed in front of her. She was nowhere near drunk, though it wasn’t for lack of trying- she’d have to figure out how to spin that one with the others because being able to outdrink a fully grown man three times her size wasn’t something Nia was itching to explain anytime soon. 

“Well…” Parvati sipped her water, then twiddled her thumbs together. “I want to… I really do.” She sighed. “I guess I’m just scared, is all- what if she doesn’t… you know,  _ like _ me that way?"

“Far be it from me to tell you what to do, but no one writes poetry like that to someone they aren’t interested in- call me crazy, but I think you two have a shot at having something, lady."

“You think so?” Parvati asked, only sounding slightly tipsy at this point. Nia slid another glass of water over to the girl, watching as she downed it greedily. “I don’t know, Cap’n…”

Nia gave her a bright smile. “I’m pretty damn sure of it… and I usually have a nose for these kinds of things.” In truth, she’d checked the threads and saw the outcome already, but she certainly couldn’t tell Parvati that. “Trust me on this,” she replied. She started to pat the girl’s hand, but every fiber of her being said that she’d be uncomfortable if she did, so she raised her glass to her instead. “If this is what you want, then go for it- you deserve to be happy.”

“I do deserve that, don’t I?” Parvati exclaimed, slamming her hand on the table. “You know what? I’m gonna go message Junlei as soon as we get back on the ship!” Then the mechanic looked around the bar, tapping her fingers against the wood. "Oh Law, I’m so nervous!” She looked at Nia, then chugged the last of her water. “You got any suggestions, Cap’n?”

“Just be yourself,” she said plainly. When the girl made a decision, Nia finally smiled- she could see that the girl was going to bend over backwards for the engineer’s affection… and the watcher had no desire to travel all over the world for Parvati to learn what Nia could clearly see right now. “You’re amazing and Junlei will see it… just like I do.” Then Nia surreptitiously placed a hand on the girl. “You know you don’t need to do anything special to get her to notice you- just be yourself.” 

Suddenly, Parvati’s eyes clouded over and then she went still as the watcher gave the girl a vision of a future with the engineer, showing her all the pomp was unnecessary- Junlei just liked the mechanic for who she was.  _ If she can just see what I see… maybe she can cut through some of the bullshit _ , Nia smirked as Parvati held the water glass, her eyes glassy as the world around them ceased to move. Wordlessly, Nia sent images through the girl’s mind, showing her a possible thread- though she wouldn’t remember it when time resumed, she hoped that she might take comfort in the knowledge and make a new decision. Parvati didn’t need to buy fancy clothes or make a fancy dinner- all Junlei wanted was to hear her voice and see her smile. Finally she felt the threads shift and she released her hold on the girl, causing the mechanic to blink rapidly and look at Nia in confusion. “She really does like me, huh? You really think I don’t have anything to worry about?”

“Not a thing,” Nia said with a smile. Leaning back in her chair, the watcher stretched and yawned, her t-shirt rising up out of the waistband of her pants and showing a sliver of her tanned abs. “We should probably get back, though.”

“I wonder what Vicar Max got up to while we were out here flappin’ our gums,” she remarked thoughtfully. Then she looked at Nia with a wide-eyed expression. “Was it rude to not invite him? I mean, Vicars don’t drink, right? It’d be rude to ask him to come somewhere he couldn’t drink, wouldn’t it?”

Nia gave a barking laugh, startling the mechanic. “Trust me, Parvati- Max is more than able to drink, I assure you.”

This caused the girl to smile. “And how would you know that, Cap’n?”

_ Fuck, I’ve said too much, _ Nia thought as she felt her ears warm. “ We couldn’t sleep, so we… had a drink together last night.”

“I knew it!” Parvati exclaimed, a bit too loudly for the Watcher’s taste. “He’s sweet on you, Cap’n!”

“That’s debatable,” Nia replied, looking longingly at the bar- briefly, she wondered if she would be wrong to persuade the bartender to give her a bottle to take with her. “I’ll fully admit, Max confuses me.”

“Thought you had a sense about these types of things?” Parvati asked. “I’ve seen the way he acts around you- he was never like that with anyone in town, that’s for sure. You know, it’s like he's a person when he’s around you, Cap’n.” 

Nia left a few bits on the table and smirked as they rose to leave the bar, watching the mechanic carefully. When she was confident Parvati wouldn’t collapse in a heap as soon as her feet hit the floor, she gestured to the door and let out a happy sigh as the now cool air hit her face. “Last I checked, I was pretty sure he was a person. Be kinda awkward if he wasn’t.”

“You know what I mean!” Parvati said with a tipsy giggle. “He’s not so mean and frowny-“ she pulled down the corners of her mouth with her fingers, pulling her lips into an exaggerated frown, “-when he’s around you. In fact, he looks downright approachable. Law knows he was never like that in Edgewater.”

“He wasn’t?” This was new information to Nia- for the most part, the Vicar was a blind spot for her. She wasn’t surprised- she wasn’t able to hear anyone’s thoughts in this body, which was a blessing. Normally, the noise was practically deafening, so she was thankful for the quiet- the lack of information was a small price to pay. “That’s news to me- I thought he was friendly with everyone.”

Parvati shook her head emphatically, blinking as the bright lights of the station reached her eyes. “Hardly. The Vicar seemed like he could be pretty-“ she paused, thinking about it for a moment. “Well, I wouldn’t call him  _ mean… _ but he wasn’t exactly nice. He was…” 

Her voice trailed off, obviously unable to find a kind word for the Vicar’s previous temperament, so the Watcher decided to help her out. “He was a surly old goat, wasn’t he?” Nia asked with a grin.

Parvati let out a loud giggle, then clapped her hand to her mouth. “Cap’n! That’s right mean to say!”

Nia shrugged. “But if it’s true…” She looked over at Parvati and winked, making the girl laugh even harder. “So he’s different around me?”

The mechanic nodded. “Oh definitely- he’s nice when he’s with you. I’ve never seen him give anyone a real smile before, and the way he touches you…” she sighed, staring up into the sky and almost missing a stair as Nia gently guided her toward the ship. “Looks like he sure does like you, Cap’n.” 

Nia bit her lip, wondering how much she should share with the girl. Over the years, she had met many people and had myriads of charges in her care, but she’d never had anyone she’d considered to be a friend before.  _ Fuck it _ , she thought.  _ Why not try out this being honest with people thing for a while? _ “Parvati,” Nia asked as she paused at the gate, "I know this is a stupid question, and heaven knows that most people wouldn’t ask this, but I have to know- could you ever consider me to be a friend? I don’t have any… never have, come to think of it. And I’ll be honest with you,” she said as she looked down at her feet. "I’d quite like it if we could be.” Nia waited anxiously for her answer, fidgeting while she tried to view the girl’s decision- threads were swirling around the mechanic, but nothing had quite cemented yet, so she had to wait for Parvati's answer… like a normal person.

After what felt like forever, Parvati gave her a wide smile. “Of course!” Then she looked down, sadly, shuffling her feet in front of her. "I gotta admit, I don’t have many friends, either.”

“Well, you have one now,” she replied with conviction. “And I have a secret to share.” The watcher felt her lips turn up into a dreamy sort of smile, then laughed to herself. “I must admit, it's kind of nice to have a friend to do that with.”

“Seeing as how I just yakked your ear off in the bar for the last few hours, I’m right happy to hear it, Cap’n,” Parvati said, looking around the station. Soon her eyes lit on a nearby bench, and she took off toward it, albeit unsteadily. 

Nia shook her head as she followed the girl, who had sprawled on the bench and was now staring up at the sky again. Her eyes darted across the brightly colored billboards for products that Nia had never heard of, like Auntie Cleo’s Aunti-Biotics. Settling down next to the girl, Nia chuckled. “I never thought I would see anything like this, that’s for sure.” 

“Neither did I,” Parvati replied. “never thought I’d leave Edgewater if I’m being honest.” She let out a sigh, then turned to Nia. “And now I’m on an honest-to-goodness spaceship, flying across the galaxy with my friend who’s like something straight out of a serial.” She folded her arms behind her head, then smiled. “Thanks, Cap’n.”

“Call me Nia,” she said with a smile. “It’s been a long time since anyone’s called me by my name- I’m rather enjoying using it again."

“All right… Nia,” Parvati said with a grin. “So,” she asked excitedly, “what’s this secret of yours? I reckon it’s got something to do with our Vicar… am I right?”

Nia squirmed, then pinched her fingers together. “A little.” Parvati squealed, causing the Watcher to grin. “So… we may have kissed already,” she said quickly. She was too embarrassed to even look at the mechanic right then, so she shut her eyes tight, hoping that she hadn’t misread the cues- this could be something she wasn't supposed to share, after all. 

After a beat of silence, she opened one eye, only to find Parvati staring at her, mouth completely open. “What?” Nia asked innocently.

“You… and the Vicar?” Parvati said incredulously, staring at Nia as if she had three heads. “Really? When? Where? Why?” 

“Today… getting that part for Junlei,” Nia admitted with a soft laugh. “Haven’t had the chance to talk about it yet, though.”

“Then why are you out here letting me talk your ear off?” Parvati squawked. “You should be on the ship, with him!” Nia stared at her, and the mechanic stammered. “Wait, I don’t mean with him like that… I mean, unless you want to be with him, then that would be good.” Then she waved her hands in front of her face, clearly embarrassed. “I mean, as long as you want to be, that is- no one’s saying you have to do anything you don’t want to-”

At this, Nia couldn’t help but laugh so hard that eventually tears started rolling down her cheeks. “Parvati,” she said between gasps, “it’s fine, I promise.” She paused, wiping the tears from her face. “My god,” she said, shaking her head, “thank you- I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. But to save you the trouble, I have to talk to him about it. And,” she said, taking a deep breath, “I think I like him. Probably more than I have a right to, if I’m being honest with you.”

The mechanic relaxed a little, curiosity replacing embarrassment. “Why do you say that? Just like you told me, it’s ok to be happy, Nia.”

Nia sighed, running a hand absentmindedly through her hair and causing a blue strand to fly in her face. “It’s… complicated, I suppose.”

Parvati gave her a look that said she was being an idiot. “It really isn’t. You like him, he likes you- unless this whole me and Junlei thing is complicated, I don’t see much difference, Cap’n.”

“I-“ Nia blew out a breath, trying to figure out how to say what was on her mind without giving too much away. “I haven’t been close with anyone in a very long time… and I suppose I just want to make sure I’m actually interested in him, not just a warm body.”

The mechanic narrowed her eyes. “Come on,” she said, standing up and walking back toward the bar. “Let’s go and get this settled right off, Nia."

“Um,” Nia replied, “I thought we were done drinking for the night?” 

Parvati didn’t answer- despite the influx of water, the girl was clearly still drunk as she marched back into the bar, gesturing her arms wide. “Okay Cap’n- if you really think it’s just because the Vicar is the first guy you ran into, then let’s run a test. Someone in this law-forsaken bar has to be somewhat attractive to you- go chat ‘em up.”

Nia gave her a look that was filled with wide-eyed terror. Had she been in her normal form, she may not have cared, but something about being human and vulnerable made this feel like a very, very, very bad idea. “You do realize that if this situation were reversed, you’d be puking your guts up at the mere thought of it, right?”

“I know I’ve got a crush on Junlei- I ain’t scared to tell you that,” Parvati replied firmly. “I’m only scared to tell  _ her _ . But you’re out here lying to yourself, Cap’n- I just want you to figure that out or prove me wrong. Either way, you learn something.”

“I hate you,” Nia said wearily. “I thought we were friends. Didn’t we make progress tonight?”

“Sure did,” she said, pointing at the inside of the bar. “That's why we’re here. Now get to it and stop stallin’!”

Nia just sighed, scanning the bar. Most people were of no consequence to her, but there was a young man at the back of the room that had a few interesting threads… that seemed to be entwined with hers.  _ Okay, maybe Parvati is right, _ she thought.  _ Even if this man doesn’t know it yet, we’ve got a connection. _

“Hi!” Nia said brightly, approaching the young man watching the tossball match. “Good game?”

He jumped, startled by her sudden appearance. “Oh! Hiya,” he stammered. “I didn’t know you were over there.”

Nia smiled. “Well, to be fair, I wasn’t here until a few moments ago and I approached you, so I think you’re in the clear. Nia Hawthorne,” she said, offering the man her hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

He stared at her, his hazel eyes dropping to her hand before breaking out into a wide smile and grabbing her hand enthusiastically. “Felix Millstone,” the dark-haired young man replied, vigorously shaking her hand. “I ain’t seen you around here before and I’d remember a pretty lady like you for sure- what gives?”

Ordinarily, she would have taken his comment as him trying to flirt with her, but she could tell that Felix didn’t mean anything by it, so she just gave a laugh. “Just landed on Groundbreaker this morning- taking care of a few things and heading out after I run a few errands.”

Felix’s eyes grew as wide as saucers. “You mean you’ve got a spaceship? You’re a real-life captain? Like Halcyon Helen?” 

Nia gave him a confused look. “I’m afraid I’m not familiar with the reference, Mr. Millstone, but yes- I am the captain of  _ The Unreliable _ .”

“How do you not know what ’ _ Terror on Monarch _ ’ is? It was only the best aetherwave serial… that is... unless you were really into the Masked Marketeer- that one never really stuck for me, though.” He gave her an eager look, as if he expected her to agree one way or the other- having no idea what he was talking about, Nia just smiled politely. As she suspected, Felix continued, taking her smile as a sign to continue. "I liked the ones where they fought all the monsters. Made it more exciting, you know?”

“I can see that,” she replied graciously, smiling at the boy. He was sweet, and he was attractive, but heaven help her, he was like a puppy- there was absolutely none of that fire that she felt when she was near Max. But to be sure, she decided she’d have to try a little something extra. “So sorry about interrupting your game, Felix- nice talking to you though. See you around?”

“‘course!” Felix replied and his eyes got wider when Nia pulled him in for a quick hug. “Wow! What was that for?” Felix asked as she pulled away, giving her a huge smile. “Most people don’t go around hugging random folks around here- not that I’m complaining or nothing, just saying."

“You looked like you needed it, Felix.” Nia gave him a soft smile, then patted him on the arm. “Enjoy the game- who are you rooting for to win tonight?”

Felix puffed up with pride. “Rizzo’s Rangers, of course- they’re the best team in the league!”

"Then I hope they win, Felix.” Nia laughed, signaling the bartender to get him another drink. “Enjoy another drink on me- consider it a bonus for putting up with my weirdo questions for a minute.”

As the bartender placed another beer in front of the kid, he looked at her with wonder. “No one at work tomorrow is gonna believe this- a gorgeous space captain just walked up, bought me a beer, and hugged me. Law, if the Rangers win this tonight, I’m gonna be the happiest man alive!”

“Then let’s hope they win,” she replied, laughing as she made her way back to the mechanic. “See you around, Felix!”

He waved at her happily, then turned back to the game, cheering when someone did something that sent a wave of excitement through the bar. Shaking her head, she walked back to Parvati, who had a smug look on her face. “What’s got you looking like the cat that caught the canary,” Nia asked, knowing all too well what the mechanic was going to say.

“Told you,” she said, arms crossed and a smirk on her face. “You and Max… you got a thing goin’ on, Cap’n.”

Nia hung her head as they left the bar, relishing the cool breeze that was now flowing through the station. “I suppose I do, Parvati,” she replied with a sigh. “Looks like it’s time for both of us to start talking about some feelings, huh?"

“Reckon so,” Parvati said, letting out a small hiccup as they headed back to the Unreliable. “Guess we might as well get on with it."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always thought Felix was creepy levels of attached to the Captain, so I wanted to give him a reason to feel like it was perfectly fine to wait outside her ship and think that was okay. 
> 
> Now, it's all Nia's fault from here on out- everyone knows you don't feed the strays, even if they are just so darn cute!
> 
> Also, thanks to @WhenYouGrowUpYourHeartDies for beta-ing!


	9. Getting to know you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawthorne finds Nia when she gets back on the ship

_ _

* * *

Nia was worried about what she’d find when she got back to the ship. _There’s a conversation due, and I don’t know if I want to pay for it just yet_ , she thought as the ship’s doors opened, blowing a soft breeze across her flushed skin. Hoping that Max would be asleep, she desperately reached out to check for his threads. _I can’t read his mind, but I can see if he’s making a decision. Closing her eyes, she hoped that he was at least trying to decide that he needed to go to the bathroom. I just need a little warning… just enough time to run and shut my door before he catches me._ Nia scowled at herself, knowing she was behaving foolishly, but she was rapidly discovering that interactions were decidedly less fun when you couldn’t predict the outcome of the situation. 

_I can see all the results of everyone else’s decisions… just not mine_. She let out a sigh as she peered around the thankfully clear corridor, watching as Pavarti headed off to send her message. _The universe is not without a sense of irony, it seems._

Suddenly, she paused mid-step as ADA’s voice came over the speaker, and she groaned- ADA was a wild card to her, and she could barely predict anything the AI did, and apparently right now was no exception. “Maximillian DeSoto, It seems your worries were for naught," the ship trilled, her computerized tone practically dripping with sarcasm. “Since you haven’t asked in the last ten minutes, I would like to inform you that Captain Hawthorne has, in fact, returned to the ship.”

Nia hung her head as she let out a groan and leaned against the wall, pausing time for a moment to gather her thoughts. She had no clue what she was going to tell the vicar about their encounter- she had enjoyed it, to be sure, but this was unusual, even for her. More and more, Nia was starting to think that there was something else at work here- between the odd gaps in her knowledge and the sudden and fervent attraction to the vicar, she was starting to suspect that shenanigans were afoot. As a general rule, the watcher didn’t do much without foresight and planning, and this whole situation was feeling a little too random for her.

 _I'm hiding something from myself,_ she realized with a gasp, her eyes opening wide with shock. _There’s something I knew... or know… or will know, s_ he thought angrily. 

The more she turned that thought over in her head, the more that sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach grew. She was right, and now she was sure of it. Meddling in the affairs of others had never bothered her before, but being on the receiving end of it made her skin crawl- it was yet another new sensation in a sea of unfamiliarity, and she was finding it to be a quite unpleasant one.

_I'm really starting to get annoyed with this whole being human thing._

“You look like you just saw a ghost,” Hawthorne drawled, coming to a stop beside her, jerking his thumb toward the hallway. “Seeing as how the Rangers just cost me my nest egg, I'm the only one that should be catatonic- you mind explaining why our favorite holy man is frozen mid-stride in the hallway back there?”

“Did I say anything to you when we first met on the ship?” Nia asked, ignoring his question for the moment- right now, he was the last person to see her in her proper form, so she was hoping she’d left a clue with the former captain. “Anything? Anything at all?”

Hawthorne put a hand on his hip and stared at her. “Hello to you too, and I asked you a question first, so start talking.”

“I stopped time to think. Now I’m thinking and I need your help,” she said in a rush, twirling the hem of her shirt in her hands. “I need to know if I told you anything before we actually met for the first time.”

“Um, don’t you know that already?” Hawthorne asked, giving her a wary look. “I was drunk and half-asleep- why would I remember anything you said to me?”

“Shit,” Nia replied dejectedly, running her hand through her hair as she slid down the wall and curled into a ball. “I’m sure I would have left a clue around here somewhere- this is so unlike me.”

The pilot frowned as he sat next to her. “You sound a little nutty, kid. What’s got you in such a state?” He looked around, then shook his head. “And is this being frozen thing good for the living members of our crew?”

“For now, they’re fine,” she replied. “It’s going to be the blink of an eye for them, so we have a few minutes.” She turned to look at the pilot, then blew out a deep breath. “Alex,” she said slowly, “I have a question.” Nia twiddled her thumbs nervously- she wasn’t used to this, and it was starting to show. "Ordinarily, I would check for myself, but since you’re dead, you have nothing for me to look into, which means I only have your word to go on.”

He gave her a look, then crossed his arms. “This sounds ominous and vaguely insulting, but I’m listening."

Nia smiled at the ghost, who then wrapped his arm around her. “Alex,” she said, closing her eyes and playing with her fingers. “I need to tell you something, but I want to know if I can trust you with it.”

“You aren’t making a lick of sense,” Hawthorne complained, sliding to the floor and sitting down. “Since you say our popsicles are gonna be fine for a bit, take a minute and tell me what the fuck is going on. Besides, I’ve been here alone with that vicar of yours too long anyway- he practically ruined the game with his constant checking for you.” She soon felt cold fingertips on her face and opened her eyes to see Hawthorne smiling as he lifted her chin. “I’m dead, remember? Who am I gonna tell?”

“Besides the point,” Nia said, but she found the edges of her mouth making their way into that grin the ghost had a way of putting on her face. “If you were alive, could I trust you?”

“Absolutely not,” he replied. “I’d sell you out to the highest bidder and not think twice as I spent my bits.” She felt her face fall, and she started to look away- there was no reason for her to expect his trust, nor his friendship. Nia sighed as she started to get up, but she felt a cold hand on grip her arm. “But I’m not alive,” he continued. “And if I’m being honest, which I have made a very good point of not being for a very long fucking time, thank you very much,” he said teasingly, “then I guess I have to say outside of ADA, you’re the only one I’ve hung around with for any decent length of time.” 

Nia stared at him as she resettled in her seat on the floor and hugged her knees, looking curiously at the apparition. “What does that mean?”

“It means,” he said with exasperation, “that if I were to have a friend, you’d probably be the closest thing to it, kid.” Hawthorne looked over at her, eyes alight with an emotion she couldn’t name. “So how’s that for fucked up? Did I win?”

Despite her exhaustion and desperation, Nia let out a chuckle. “I think you’re still second place, but I’ll take it.” She exhaled, then looked up at him. “I think I’m hiding something from myself, Alex.” When he looked at her in confusion, she put her head in her hands. “I chose this body and I came here for a mission- that much I know. The scientist that hired you woke me up to help rescue the colonists of the Hope-“

“I remember,” Hawthorne said. “That crazy bastard told me it was important that I go get you from that rock. Paid a lot of money for it too- sucks that I won’t get to spend any of it,” he said wistfully. 

Nia rolled her eyes. “That’s just it, Alex- the job is important, yeah… but it doesn’t feel right- I think there’s something I’m missing.”

“Like what?” Hawthorne asked. “What, is there some grand plan going on here? You starting to believe the vicar’s dribble or something?"

“Alex,” she said emphatically, “think about it- why would I need to hire a pilot and adventurer _if you were already hired to be that?_ ” Hawthorne’s eyes widened, and she gripped his shoulder in excitement. “See what I mean? It appears that I did something to myself… but for the life of me I can’t figure out what or why!”

The pilot looked thoughtful as he thought for a moment. “But you still have your freaky time stop powers, I see. And I’m here, so you were obviously able to do that. So what gives?” He gave Nia a long hard stare, scanning her eyes unflinchingly. “What’s going on with you, kid?” 

NIa sighed. “This is what I’m kind of scared to tell you,” she admitted. “No one has known this in hundreds of years, Alex, but I need to tell someone- I can’t go telling this to Pavarti or Max, they’d think me mad.”

“Well if it's any consolation, I think you're mad too, but I’m honored to be the one you choose to share your crazy with,” Hawthorne teased. “But hey, you at least know I won’t go anywhere after you tell me, and you know I can’t blab it to anyone.” She gave him a look and he chuckled, folding his arms behind his head and extending his long legs in front of him. “And even if I could, I wouldn’t. You hired me- I keep the details of my employer confidential… for the most part,” he teased. 

“You’re not my friend, remember?” Nia said sadly. "I distinctly remember a very angry ghost telling me after this mission is done to basically lose his fucking number.”

“I was newly dead!” Hawthorne said exasperatedly. “You can’t possibly have taken anything I said seriously then!”

“I did,” she replied. “I listen to everyone- if I can’t read your mind or your choices, then what else do I have to go on?” 

The pilot pushed her head, making her chuckle in spite of herself. “Learn to use context clues, bitch!” 

Nia laughed, then looked at Hawthorne expectantly. “So does that mean you might talk to me when this is over and I get you a body?” 

“More than likely,” he admitted, leaning his head against the wall and staring at the ceiling. “Not everyday you meet a freaky little person that murders you and hauls your spirit around the stars like luggage. Makes for an interesting story at parties.” When she rolled her eyes, she noticed him turn his head to smile at her. “So,” he said slowly, as if he were testing out the words, “time to spill- what’s the deal with you?"

Nia looked thoughtful for a moment, debating how much she wanted to tell him. “It’d be nice to share a little with someone.”

“You sure you don’t want to tell Mr. Doe Eyes in the hallway?” Hawthorne said, raising his eyebrows. “Judging by what’s been going on, I think you two are right friendly, and I think you’ve shared a lot.” 

“It’s bigger than that,” Nia said after a moment. “You’re already inclined to believe a little more, just based on your situation. Them… they’re normal, Alex- they’re not like us,” she said sadly.

“C’mon, kid, let it out- you know I’m your law-damned friend, Nia. I wouldn’t be here sitting in the hallway on my ass otherwise,” Hawthorne said, his tone holding an uncharacteristic gentleness. “And I wouldn’t give a shit about you ramming your tongue down loverboy’s throat if I weren’t somewhat worried about whatever mess you were getting us into. So, if it’s gonna help you get your shit together to have someone to confide in, then do it.” 

“I see possible futures,” she said, staring off into the distance. “I suppose I saw something that made me want to come here and help. What it was, I have no idea, but it seems I thought Phineas’s scheme was a good enough reason to come down here.” 

Hawthorne frowned as he took in her words. “If you listen to that garbage your sweetie spouts off, there’s only one possible future.” Then, that devilish grin spread across his face, and he turned back to her. "So, you telling me we got walking proof he’s full of shit?”

“I told you, I hate going into churches- that would be the reason,” Nia admitted, folding her hands nervously. “I’m a walking, talking, symbol that your faith is more fluid than you realize.” She sighed, picking at her shirt as she avoided Hawthorne’s gaze. “This isn’t the only universe, you know. There are lots of them, and the rules change just a little in every single one- why I picked this one and at this time remains to be seen, I suppose.”

“Well, fuck,” Hawthorne said finally, staring at the girl with an awestruck expression. “That’s a lot to process… and I have so many questions.” 

She looked at him, and nodded. “I figured you might. Ask away, Alex.”

He thought about it for a moment, then looked over at her. “So, were you ever human? I know you said you haven’t been one in a while, but were you ever a person… like me?”

“Alex, there never is or was another person like you,” Nia said with a smile. Hawthorne puffed up a bit and she laughed. “But yes, I was a normal person… a long time ago.” She trailed off, not willing to dredge up the memory. “But that’s a story for another time.” She could tell the ghost was brimming with questions, but she gave him a look. “I promise, I will tell you one day. But right now, that’s not a story I want to tell. I’m not sure I want to remember all of it myself at this point.” She looked at him so intently that the pilot started to squirm. “Don’t you have stories like that, Alex?”

“Fair point.” He swallowed, then nodded. “I suppose I do. Point taken, past life is off the table for now. Instead, let’s take this back a notch- how are you doing stopping time?” He waved his hand around, gesturing to the still ship. “And why am I not bothered by it?"

“Well,” she said slowly. “I’m a Watcher, which means I check for points that could change the course of destiny. Some of them we can change, others we can’t- they’re fixed in time, and will happen no matter what we do or try,” she said sadly. “I can rewind time to change small things and I can move between moments, like we’re doing now.”

The ghost looked at her again. “You keep saying that, but I don’t know what you mean- to me, it’s like you're just pausing time. Can’t deny it’s useful in a fight, but I don’t see why you do it or how the hell it got me here with you.”

“Well, it helps me review the threads and see what’s going on,” Nia said quietly. “I can also pull people with me between moments, but I can’t do it for too long- living people aren’t meant to exist between them.” She turned her head toward the hallway where she knew Max was. “Like I did with him outside the ship that day.”

“You said you unlocked him,” Hawthorne said. “But I’m getting the sense that’s not all you do- I’ve seen the way you work out here, Nia.” He frowned, staring at her- she knew he was putting the pieces together, and the watcher realized that the pilot was smarter than she gave him credit for. “You do something to people… like you make them do what you want them to do or see what you want them to see.”

Nia sighed. “Yes,” she said simply. “I told you, I can see the result of choices. So,” Nia replied with a slight smile, “I can use that to help guide people toward choices that lead to a particular outcome. However, in order for me to do it, there has to be a chance for them to take that action… even if it is slim to none.” 

“So, you _sure_ you can’t make a holy man want to toss off the warm cloak of religion and follow a certain fake space captain blindly across the galaxy?” Hawthorne asked with a grin. “Cause to me, it certainly looked like that’s what you did back there."

Nia shook her head. "It’s a push… nothing more. It’s stronger with physical contact, but it’s only going to work if they want it - I can’t guide someone to a choice they would never make in the first place.”

Hawthorne nodded. “Makes sense, I suppose.” Then he narrowed his eyes. “But you still haven’t told me how I wound up like this.”

“I just told you, Hawthorne,” she said with a sad sigh. “Think about everything we just talked about- put the pieces together, Alex.” 

He paused, staring at her with uncertainty for the first time since she’d known him. “I… don’t think I know what you mean.” She started to reach for him, but he moved away. “No,” he said quickly. “No games, no riddles. No unlocking or pushing… just tell me what happened, Nia.”

“Alex-“

He cut her off quickly, giving her a stare that actually made her want to shiver. This wasn’t the affable ghost that lounged around the Unreliable anymore- no, this was Captain Hawthorne, the space pirate that would sell out anyone to the highest bidder. Cold and calculating, his icy grey eyes locked with hers, holding her in his unwavering gaze. “No,” he said in a voice that was as chilly as his touch, “no more games- tell me the truth,’ he said angrily. “I deserve that much.”  
  
“Alex,” Nia asked tentatively, “are you sure you want to remember?” Nia reached out again for his hand, and this time he didn’t jerk away. “I didn’t want to,” she said softly. “Trust me, remembering isn’t going to do you much good- sometimes it’s better to forget.”

His gaze lost a little of its hardness as he nodded his head, his spectral strands of hair flopping against his forehead. “I need to know,” he said finally. “If I don’t, I’m always going to wonder.”

She sighed. “Remember how I said I can go back and change things… small things?” When Hawthorne nodded slowly, Nia continued. “And remember how I said no matter what, some things were always going to happen?” 

He nodded again. 

“Well, she said carefully, “that night on the ship, when I touched you… I marked you.” She stared at the pilot intently, hoping he’d start to put some of the blanks together- he’d never believe it otherwise. "I gave you a little bit of me.”

“When you woke me up,” he said slowly. Nia could see him turning things over in his mind, and she nodded, gesturing for him to continue his line of thought. “You did that to me… because you knew I was going to die, didn’t you?” Finally, understanding began to creep across his features, warming them with rage and sadness. "It was one of those fixed points, wasn’t it?”

She wanted to console the man, but she knew there was nothing she could say that would make this any easier- instead, Nia just looked at the pilot, her green eyes glistening with unshed tears and held his hand.

Hawthorne just hung his head, his shoulders slumping forward as he placed his hands on his knees, his ephemeral hand still clutching hers as if it were a lifeline. “So if I was gonna die no matter what,” he said with a mirthless laugh, “then how did you ‘save' me?” 

“I moved between the moments,” she replied. “And I rewound time to pull you right before you died.” Nia sighed, looking at him sadly. “You aren’t affected by the between because you live in it, Alex, and you’re connected to me because I marked you.” Before he could open his mouth to ask, Nia cut him off. “And right now, I don’t know why I chose you or what else it is we’re supposed to do. All I know is this is the branch I’m supposed to be following and I’m supposed to have you here to do it- I don’t think I would’ve done all that to take you with me otherwise.” She turned to look at the ghost, who was now staring straight ahead, his face expressionless. “Alex,” she said gently, turning to look at him, “I need you with me- my adventurer and pilot, remember?.” 

He didn’t respond at first, but after a moment he gave her hand a squeeze, making Nia sigh with relief. “I’m here,” he said finally. “But there’s one piece I don’t get,” he said. “You said you can rewind things to make small changes, yeah?” Nia nodded, unsure as to what the ghost was getting at- confused, she waited for him to continue. “So,” he said carefully, “last I checked, rewinding time to a point where someone comes back to life is a pretty big fucking change, Nia.” 

Her eyes grew wide as she started to get what he was hinting at. “Extremely big,” she said softly. “So, what's so important that I’d risk trying to bring you back? And why don’t I remember what it was?” Nia rubbed her temples and groaned. “Ugh… this is making my head hurt.” 

“Mine too, kid,” Hawthorne said as he patted her shoulder and stood up. “In the meantime, you have a frozen vicar to chat with- he’s been wound up tighter than a spring all evening, so I think it’s beyond time you and him had a chat.”

Nia frowned. “Are you gonna be hanging over my shoulder all night while I do?”

Hawthorne shook his head and gave a sad smile. “I think I’ll leave you two alone for a while. I’ll be in our room- after getting saddled with all this, I think I need a little time to think.” 

She nodded, then stared at the apparition walking toward the captain’s quarters. “Hey Alex?”

He turned around, pausing to look at her. “Hmm?”

“If you need me, I can go with you instead- I'm happy to listen if you need to talk,” she said tentatively, watching his expression carefully- this was the first time she’d offered any real friendship to the man and she didn’t exactly know how he’d take her offer of comfort. “If you don’t want to be alone right now, I understand.”

To her surprise, Hawthorne smiled and shook his head, running his hands through his hair. “Nah, I think being alone right now is exactly what I want.” He let out a sigh, then continued toward the room. “So, quit stalling and go unfreeze your friends,” he said with a smile, “cause it looks like you and the vicar got some catching up to do, Nia."  



	10. Are we gonna talk about this?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max and Nia chat on the Unreliable

_ _

* * *

As soon as Max heard ADA’s announcement about her return, he was off like a shot to the cockpit. He’d given Nia space earlier, hoping that a chance to decompress with the mechanic would make her more amenable to discussing things with him later. However, the distance had proved to be maddening- no matter what he tried to do, he kept being drawn back into the sensation of his body against hers, the taste of the salt on her skin, and the softness of her lips pressed upon his. Max had thought the tossball game would be a welcome distraction, but sitting on the couch just made him think of how she’d fallen asleep upon him the night before, how her hair felt beneath her fingertips, and the feel of her warm breath on his neck as she’d slept. 

Taking off down the hall, his strides long and purposeful, Max couldn’t help but wonder why this tiny woman was affecting him so. He’d been interested, maybe even curious about her when she arrived in Edgewater- he couldn’t deny there was an attraction there, and he was happy to note that she shared at least some semblance of affection for him. But, he noted, the moment he felt her hand touch his cheek, he felt like the world had shifted and tilted on its axis somehow, causing him to crash into her at every turn. When she touched him that day, it was as if she’d reached into his very soul and pulled out a version of himself that he’d never seen or wanted to see before, and the dawning realization that this feeling was not waning but increasing only served to make his heart race with excitement and terror.

When he rounded the corner and saw her standing there with her jacket draped across her arm and her hair slightly mused from the wind, a smile unconsciously played across his lips. “Captain Hawthorne,” Max said with what he hoped was a casual tone. “It seems you’ve returned from your libations with Miss Holcomb. You had a good evening, I trust?” 

She turned to stare at him, and it was like seeing a light go on in her eyes- moments before, they’d been wistful, possibly sad. Now she looked as if she’d just heard the most amazing joke, and her face shone with delight when her eyes settled on him. “Max,” she said, her eyes dancing with joy, causing his heart to skip a beat with just that one word. He started to say something, but she gave him a grin, softer than the one she normally wore and yet more sincere than most of the ones she tended to offer the rest of the world. “Would it be fair to say that I think I missed you tonight?”

Max felt his insides twist in a delicious knot as he crossed the room, unaware of what he was doing until his lips found hers. Unconcerned with anyone or anything else around them, Max kissed her in the hallway, not wanting to hear anything that would contradict this moment and not wanting to say anything that would cause her to pull her body away from his. When he was touching her, he felt right- like the entire universe was aligned, like there was order and beauty to his life, and… 

_...like he’d come home._

Startled by the realization, Max broke the kiss and looked up, staring into her eyes as he tried to catch his breath and stop himself from diving for her lips again. “It seems we have to talk about what is it that seems to be going on with the two of us, Nia.”

“Well, before you greeted me in such a wonderful way,” Nia said playfully, leaning up to kiss him again and causing him to let out a soft groan as he pulled her closer to him again. “I thought that we were set to have a conversation and a nightcap tonight.”

“We are,” he whispered against her barely painted lips- he suspected that he was wearing more of her lipstick than she was at this point, but he didn’t care in the slightest- his only concern was her, and the feel of his skin on hers. “And we will.” 

“Then that means you have to release me,” Nia said with a giggle. “I hardly think we can do those things making out in a hallway like a couple of besotted teenagers, Maximillian DeSoto.”

The sound of his full name tumbling from her lips made him laugh- deep, throaty and honest. The sound poured out from him, causing Max to shake with laughter before scooping her into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing her again as he held her in the air. “Nia,” he said as she clung to his neck, “while I had plans for us to have a lovely evening together,” he paused, adjusting her on his hips so he could alleviate the growing strain in his pants and see down the hall in front of him, “I have absolutely no intention of letting you go anytime soon.”

“Why do I get the sense that you’re completely serious,” Nia asked, arms still around his neck as they walked towards Max’s room. “What’s so special about me that’s got the previously dour vicar acting like a schoolboy half his age?”

Max paused, then smiled as she leaned up to kiss him back. He didn’t want to answer her, but just like before, the words flew out of him in a rush, running from his lips like water. “Because you feel like home, Nia." He could see a glimmer of emotion pass over her face, but he continued toward his room, unabated and unabashed in his truth. "When you’re in my arms, the world feels right, and when you’re gone it seems like the universe is out of sync.”

“That’s a lot for someone you don’t know,” she said quietly. “I’m just the ruffian who picked you up so you could find a translator for your fucking French book,” she teased lightly as he entered his room. “I’m not even your friend, Max… though I want to be.”

“Tell me you aren’t mine.” She closed her eyes, and Max could feel the breath hitch in her chest, causing him to smile as he pressed his forehead to hers. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel the same way,” Max said, all playfulness gone from his tone. 

“Maybe I could if you stopped kissing me, Max,” she chided lightly. 

“Try anyway.” She was teasing him, but he could see that there was emotion beneath her bravado- something was simmering under the surface, something that was making her hesitate. As he lowered her to the ground, he looked at her, his gaze unwavering as he waited for her answer. When she stalled, he cupped her chin in his hand and tilted her face toward his. “Nia,” he said firmly, not breaking eye contact for a moment, “tell me. I’ve told you a truth... I’d like one in return from you.”

“You say that now,” Nia warned. “But I’m not the one you need- there’s a lifetime of things you don’t know about me, Max.” She let out a deep sigh, tracing his cheek with her fingers. “You don’t want me,” she said sadly, staring up at him. “You want a translator for your book. You wanted a way out of Edgewater. You want more out of your life, vicar. You want lots of things… but I’m quite sure you don’t want me.”

“You seem quite certain on what I want,” Max said, brushing his lips over hers as he moved toward her and removed the leftover space between them. “But you still haven’t answered my question.” When she started to protest, Max leaned over and kissed her again, stealing the words as he threaded his fingers through her hair and devoured her mouth with his. “Do you really not feel the same?” Max asked, his voice lower than normal, his pulse racing. “If you don’t, I need you to tell me.”

“It’s not fair to you, Max. I’ve told you, I’m not a good person,” she whispered, reaching out to touch his face. “I’m bad for your faith, for your beliefs, and I don’t want to change the man you are.”

“You give yourself too much credit,” Max said, leaning into her touch. “Has the thought ever crossed your mind that maybe I just want you?” He nuzzled her neck, placing soft kisses up and down her collar as he lightly ran the other hand across her skin, feeling the softness beneath his fingertips. “Answer me,” he said, whispering into her ear and twisting her soft curls around his fingers. “I need to know, Nia.”

“I’m yours,” she said finally, her green eyes full of regret as she traced his lips with her thumb. “And I’m going to ruin you, Maximillian DeSoto."

_ _

* * *

He’d drawn it out of her, that kernel of truth she’d tried to deny ever since she’d unlocked him by the ship in Edgewater.

She couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to him than she knew, more to them than she realized- every time she stared into those eyes of his, it was as if she felt less like a shell and more like a true person. Without a second thought, Max made her heart beat faster whenever she touched him, and he made her feel warmth where there was usually nothing but cold. In her old life, Nia was used to having all the answers and being in control, but out here, control and security were fleeting- even for an immortal, the only time she ever felt safe and secure was in encircled in Max's arms. Fighting it made no difference- every corner she rounded in her mind took her right back to him. Max was her center, her beacon- _he_ was what she ran to.

Though she knew that truth, she also knew there was more to the situation than she could see right now. Try as she might, the watcher couldn’t deny the rightness of him, the sense of surety that his touch provided, or the fact that with him was exactly where she needed to be. 

_Damn it_ , Nia thought, _I’m in love with this goddamn man. And I'm going to destroy him._

Nia could see that as certainly as she knew her own name. But, by definition, her very existence was the antithesis of his faith, his unwavering belief in the Grand Plan- how could he love what could destroy his values, his sense of self? How would he react, knowing the object of his affection’s very existence was helping, shaping, and offering new options, helping people decide where their choices could lead them? What would he do when she discovered her true purpose? The ambiguity weighed on her soul- one day, she’d have to tell him, offer him the knowledge he wanted. _Of course you’re looking everywhere for answers that are right in front of your face, Max_ , she thought sadly.

But for all her bravado and bluster, she was nervous at the thought of being fully clothed and still feeling like she’d been laid bare by the man in front of her, raw and exposed for him to see- he hadn’t said a word since she’d spoken, and it felt like civilizations had risen and fell in the space between her words. As she searched his quiet gaze, she started to feel a blush creep up her face. _I have to rewind this_ , she thought. _I’ve said too much and-_

“You’re mine?” Max said, looking at her with hope. Then he lowered his eyes and let out another deep and throaty chuckle as he traced her cheek with his knuckle. “Pretty big leap from not even thinking I’m your friend, Nia,” he murmured, his nearness causing her to shiver. “So which is it,” he asked, his voice low in her ear like a purr- she could practically hear his smirk as her knees started to wobble. “Are we nothing or are you mine?” 

“This isn’t fair,” she whispered, trying desperately to wrack her brain to figure out the deal was with her and this man. “You’re a vicar… we can’t… we shouldn’t…”

“What’s not fair? That I’m asking you to provide me with an answer?” Max took her earlobe in his teeth, causing her to inhale sharply. “Last I checked, it was a simple question, one you seem more than capable of answering,” he remarked as he lightly ran his tongue down the side of her throat. “Unless… there’s another reason?”

She shuddered, her body betraying her in every possible way. “You don’t know me,” she whispered. “You just met me.”

“Then let me,” Max said, taking her hand and guiding her to his bed. Slowly, he pulled her into his lap, a sweet mimicry of their embrace on the couch together. When he realized their positions, he let out a laugh. “Law knows the last time I held you last this, I wanted nothing more than to kiss you,” he said as he brought his mouth to hers. “And now you’re here.” His arms circled her waist, and his light green eyes searched her face, looking for an answer she’d yet to give him. “Answer me, Nia,” Max commanded, his tone quiet as his fingers ran lightly along her spine. “Tell me it doesn’t feel like you belong here… with me.”

“I can't,” Nia admitted quietly, threading her hands in his wheat-colored hair and placing a soft kiss on his swollen lips. “As much as I don’t want to admit it, it feels right… being here with you.”

“I don’t want anyone else to hold you like this,” he murmured. “I want to be the only one that gets to share this with you.” He looked at her arm as he traced his fingertips along her it, then back to her. “I can’t believe my touch is the first you’ve had in over seventy years,” he said with astonishment. “How does it feel?”

“Like I’m finally alive,” Nia admitted. “It feels like nothing else matters when I touch you, and like my heart is breaking whenever you stop.” As soon as the words left her mouth she winced, feeling stupid for letting the words escape her lips. “I-“

Max cut her off, placing a kiss on her head as he pulled her close, carefully laying down with her on his bunk. “Then don’t stop,” he said as he took her hand to his mouth, brushing her knuckles with his lips. “No one said you ever had to stop, Nia.” 

“Then I won’t,” she replied softly as she leaned forward, once again delighting in the taste of the one man she knew she shouldn’t have. 

—  
For the second time in a row, Nia woke up wedged against the softly snoring Vicar. 

Smiling to herself, she paused time as to not wake the man sleeping next to her and crept out of the bed, stealing silently across the still ship and finding Hawthorne waiting for her outside their room. 

Not in the mood to sass the man after their discussion, she tried a new tactic. “How are you doing this morning?” 

The pilot looked at her in shock. “What, did the world just end?” She frowned, confused- Nia had no idea what the pilot was talking about, and he laughed as he looked at her face. “The first thing you did was be nice to me- that’s new.”

“I’m trying out this friend thing,” Nia said with a soft smile. “ Apparently, I have them now.” She gave the ghost a smile. “Would you like a cup of coffee, Alex?” 

“And there you go, being a bitch again.” He frowned. “And here I was thinking we were making real progress, Nia.” 

She rolled her eyes, and held out her hand, which had a cup of steaming liquid inside it. “Take the damn coffee, Alex. We’re between the moments- I can manipulate things here. It’s not real, per se, but it will feel real enough. And since you’re dead, it’s perfectly sufficient for you.” She sighed. “Too bad it doesn’t carry over in the real world- I’d be all set.”

Hawthorne took the beverage, and his eyes widened. “Holy shit, it is coffee! And it’s just how I like it!” He looked over the rim of his cup at Nia, then shook his head. “I’d ask you how, but I find that I don’t care.”

“Good answer,” she said. “So, now that we’re having a drink together, we should probably chat,” Nia remarked. “Particularly about how the hell I’m supposed to get the hell off this station now that you’ve pissed off the one man who can impound the ship!”

Hawthorne sat in the chair, sipping his coffee. “Well, I may have an idea about that. But, it’s gonna take you being a storyteller for a bit, kid.”

Nia leaned back in the chair, sipping her tea as she stared at the pilot, a bemused expression on her face. “I’m listening. At this point,” she said with a weary sigh that was becoming the default when she had to deal with Hawthorne, “I’m open to all available options.” 

“Well, in that case,” Hawthorne said with a bright smile as he drained his cup and gestured to her for another, “then I think we should do a little light reading so you can get up to speed.”  


_ _

* * *

Max awoke to a soft kiss on his lips and bright green eyes staring down at him. “Morning, Vicar,” Nia said softly. “How’d you sleep?” 

He smiled, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in the bed next to him. “Wonderful, though I think we’re a little past titles at this point, Nia.” He gave her a wicked grin, the type he hadn’t felt himself use in a very long time. “I seem to remember a beautiful woman sharing my bed last night."

“All we did was make out like a couple of horny teenagers,” Nia chided, her face brimming with amusement. “Though I can’t say I’m complaining about it, mind you.”

Max gave her a slight grimace as he ran his hands through his hair, trying to fix his disheveled appearance. “I would prefer it if we were to call it something else… that makes it seem so,” he twisted his lips, finding the very thought distasteful. “… juvenile. And to me,” he replied, giving her a deep kiss that made him want to sink into the mattress and stay with her all day long, “is nothing of the sort."

“Oh?” Nia asked, teasing him as she twirled strands of his hair around her fingers. “Then what is it, Maximilian DeSoto?”

“Much more than that,” he replied as he shivered at the sound of her calling him by his full name- judging by the smirk on her face, she knew exactly what she’d done. “I fear I’m at a disadvantage, Nia, as I only know your assumed name.” 

She looked down, and he could feel her mentally pulling away from him. “Nia Hawthorne is fine, Max. The rest of my name is lost to time, and I don’t think I’ll ever go looking for it again.” She looked up at him, but this time her eyes were hard, glittering like emeralds. “I warned you, Max- you don’t know me, and to be honest, I don’t know if you should.”

“I don’t recall telling you everything about me either,” he replied, brushing her forehead with his lips in the hope of guiding her back to him. “But isn’t the point to learn about each other?” Once again, he could feel the moment she began to relent against him and he smiled, taking comfort in the fact that he had the power to bring her around with his touch and his words. “We’ll get there,” he said with confidence. “One day, we’ll tell each other our stories and share those things we’ve never told another soul.” He smiled at her, cupping her chin in his hand and kissing as if he was sealing a letter. “But it doesn’t have to be today.”

She closed her eyes, and he traced her cheek as she gave him a sad smile. “You’re more right than you know, Max.” She sighed, then snuggled in close to him. “I just wonder if you’d feel the same way when you find out everything.”

“I could ask you the same question, Miss Hawthorne,” Max said, using her last name in acknowledgment of her not wanting to share any more information about her past. “But we’ll cross those bridges when we come to them. For now,” he said as he smoothed her hair and smiled at the strange woman in his arms, “let’s enjoy these moments- the future will be what it is, Nia."

“Maybe… or we can make it what we want it to be, Max.” She gave him a smile, then threaded her fingers in his, her eyes bright again and burning with a fire he hadn’t seen from her before. "Our choices are our own- there are a million different paths we can take and tons of directions to go in.” 

Max shook his head. “All of our choices lead back to the path we’re supposed to be on, Nia. It’s the beauty of the plan- no matter what we choose, we’re exactly where we’re meant to be.” Nia sighed, and he frowned as the brightness in her eyes dimmed. “But why is it that you seem to think this is a bad thing?

“Because you have a choice, Max,” Nia said, her voice heavy with frustration. “We have a choice. Everything you do is because of your own choices, not some shitty plan.” She leaned over him and he smiled, threading his hands though her hair, causing her to lean back and close her eyes. “Max- you chose to be here, just like I chose you- our destinies are made up of more than one route.” She flopped back on the bed, then turned to look at him. “For good or for ill, your choices are your own- no one can make you do anything you don’t want to do."

“But who’s to say those choices are yours to begin with?” Max replied, tracing patterns on her cheeks. “Maybe it’s my destiny to be right here… with you.” 

Nia let out a soft breath as she leaned back against the bed, staring at the ceiling. “In one future, yes. But who knows- in another, maybe you’d never get the chance to meet me.” She turned over, looking at him with sadness. “Maybe Phineas unthawed someone else, and they got sent to Edgewater instead- if that happened, would you be here with them now?” 

“No,” Max replied, shaking his head emphatically. “For some reason, I can say with absolute certainty I never felt like this until you came into my life.” He leaned over, feeling more content than he had in ages “What did you do to me, Miss Hawthorne?”

“Again, no one can make you do anything you don’t already want to do, Max,” Nia said softly. “And even if I could, I wouldn’t want to."


	11. Exit Strategy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nia gets the Unreliable back in the skies and picks up some friends

_ _

* * *

“Udom,” Nia said brightly. “I’d like you to release my ship, please.”

She was standing in his office with Max by her side, staring down the man who was sitting behind a stack of papers. She’d known that this was going to be an interesting errand, so she gave Parvati the chance to head down to engineering and chat with Junlei while she handled this with Max. Though she had given Nia a knowing smirk as she left, she’d been more than happy for the break, hopping off and promising to meet them back at the ship by the end of the day. Max, however, hadn’t left her side, watching her with concern as she smiled at the representative- _It’s just a conversation,_ Nia thought. _These types of things are my specialty._

The twitchy bureaucrat narrowed his eyes. “It’s not your ship, it’s Alex Hawthorne’s. And I’m rather interested in why you’re in my office instead of him, young lady.”

Taking a deep breath, Nia forced herself not to roll her eyes. “Because I’m Nia Alexandra Hawthorne.” She bit her lip, hoping that she could be convincing- acting hadn't been her strong suit lately. “I’m his sister, Mister Bedford.”

Udom gave her a surprised look as he settled back into his seat. “I’m afraid Captain Hawthorne never mentioned you, Miss Hawthorne.”

She gave the director a sad smile. “We were estranged, Mr. Bedford. I-“ She paused, lowering her head- as if she’d planned it, Max placed a hand on her shoulder. “… though you impounded my ship, I needed to talk to you anyway… about what happened to him,” she replied tearfully. 

Udom’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly, and his voice raised an octave. “Why…” He cleared his throat, then resumed in a normal tone. “Why do you need to talk to me about Mr. Hawthorne?” 

“Because he died,” Nia said tearfully. “He took on a mission… and he didn’t make it.” She looked down, unwilling to look at Max while she was talking- she was scared that he would interrupt her spiel. “I found your letters,” she said, looking at Udom. “It seems you meant a lot to him.” 

“Did he say that?” Udom was red in the face, looking down as he twiddled his thumbs. Nia frowned, then glanced over at Hawthorne, who had the decency to look somewhat ashamed- this man truly did care about him. “We didn’t leave things on the best terms, Miss Hawthorne.”

“I know,” she said quietly. Nia could feel Max’s eyes on her, causing her to look down in shame- seeing Udom's discomfort, she now felt terrible for lying to the man in front of her. Taking a deep breath, Nia decided to take a different tactic- she hoped she was right as she began to speak again. “I know he wrote you a letter, a nasty one. My brother…” she paused, turning to look at Hawthorne, “… wasn’t always a nice man. He never knew how to say the things he felt, so his default was to push away anyone who cared about him before they could get too close.” She watched as Hawthorne moved toward the window, not saying a word as she continued. “He preferred to take the easy way out and I’m so sorry if he hurt you, Mr. Bedford, but he’s gone now,” she whispered. “And I wish he was here to tell you that he was sorry about what he did, but I can’t say that he was- that’s not my place to say. All I can say is that it was wrong, and I’m sorry he did that to you .” 

For a moment, the representative was quiet, and Nia thought he wasn’t going to say anything to her. Then, after a few beats, he spoke, so softly she wasn’t sure that he was even talking at first. “He went out with one of our Mardets,” Udom said quietly. “I confronted him about it, and he got mad, saying that…'' Udom sighed, turning away from her and Hawthorne, who was now leaning against the window, his head hung low. “Never mind, Miss Hawthorne. I’ll release the Unreliable to you.” He paused, then turned back to her, his eyes shining with tears. “Thank you for telling me- I appreciate it.” After a moment, the man looked over to Nia and gave her a sad smile. “You didn’t have to do that, you know."

Nia walked over, placing her hand on his. “It’s the least I could do. Everyone deserves to know the truth, even if it’s not something we want to hear.” She gave the man a wistful look, watching as Hawthorne left the room without even sending a glance in her direction.

_ _

* * *

As they left the representative’s office and headed out to meet her contact, Max placed a hand on Nia’s shoulder. The show in the office had intrigued him, leaving him with the distinct impression that there was more to that exchange than she was letting on. “Nia,” he asked gently, “would you like to talk a little more about what happened back there?”

“I found some letters,” she said simply. “I just put two and two together, that’s all.” 

He raised his eyebrow. “You mean you snooped in our former Captain’s terminal,” he said carefully. “I don’t think he’d have wanted you to find those messages, Miss Hawthorne.” 

Nia gave him a smirk. “So when I do something you aren’t ok with, it’s back to Miss Hawthorne, huh?”

Max felt his cheeks grow hot. “No,” he said quietly. “It just felt appropriate in this context, as I am your crew out here. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“So since we’re just crewmates out here,” she said with a teasing grin. “I suppose we should cut back on things like this,” she replied as she removed his hand from her shoulder. “Wouldn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea about a man of the cloth, after all.” Her eyes sparkled with humor as she turned around, walking backward in front of him and trailing her fingers down his chest. “Seeing as how Vicars shouldn’t go around making out with fake space captains, maybe some distance between us would be best.”

“My dear,” he said as he pulled her to him, placing a kiss on her lips that made her blush, “I believe I left my post when I followed you on your ship that day. I fear I’m no more than a lawless degenerate now, clinging to the remaining ideals of his faith.”

“Max, you could never be a lawless degenerate,” Nia said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’re too idealistic- sometimes I wonder if you even have a reckless bone in your body.” 

“Obviously I must, if I’m out here with you,” he teased, hugging her back. He was hoping she’d change the subject- her teasing was a little too close to the truth for his tastes, and Max wasn’t exactly interested in delving into his past just yet. “So, our renegade behavior and lawlessness aside for the moment, what made you tell Mister Bedford that story back there?"

“Because he needed to hear it.” She frowned, looking off into the distance. “It’s a terrible feeling, to love someone and not have them love you back- Udom needed to know it wasn’t his fault.”

“It sounds like you’re speaking from experience,” Max said softly. “Do you wish to talk about it?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know if I’ve never cared enough about anyone to have that kind of experience,” she replied with a faraway look on her face. “So I couldn’t answer that question. All I can say is that I could tell he didn’t deserve it, and whether it was true or not, he needed to know that he wasn’t wrong for feeling the way he did.” She stood up straight as she stared off into the distance, "Hawthorne was wrong for not telling him the truth.” Then she slumped her shoulders and looked at him sadly. “And I’m a right bastard for not telling you the full truth, either.” She bit her lip, her eyes sad and wide as they searched his face. “How do you tell someone something that you’ve never told another living soul, Max?”

Once again her words were too close to home, too close to how he felt, and he felt his throat go dry- Max knew that he would have to tell her the truth, sooner or later, but right now, they had a contact to see and a nav key to get, so he swallowed instead and forced himself to speak. “You do it when you’re ready,” he said with a smile that he hoped read as sincere. “And then you hope that the person who needs to hear it is ready to listen to you.”

_ _

* * *

“So, thanks for the help,” the woman said gruffly, sticking her hands in her pockets. “If you’re still in need of a medic, then I’m available- Law knows I’m itching to get off this station anyway.”

Nia had to bite back a smile at the roguish doctor with the spiky brown hair- this woman was the very essence of mischief and trouble, but she intrigued Nia greatly. The Watcher could tell that beneath her bluster Ellie Fenhill had her own moral code, and while that might bother some, Nia knew that she had no right to complain- hell, her motives were hidden even to herself, so she could hardly begrudge someone else for hiding theirs. Checking her threads and after determining the woman was in her orbit for a reason and posed no threat, Nia offered her a hand and a bright smile. “Welcome aboard the Unreliable, Ellie. Happy to have you- I’m sure the others will feel better having an actual medic aboard.”

Ellie raised an eyebrow. “What, you one of those hands-off types that let the grunts do all the dirty work?” 

Silently cursing her careless slip and hoping to draw Ellie away from her current line of thinking, Nia gave the medic a cheerful smile. _This woman is sharp,_ she thought. _If I’m not careful, I’m going to end up in a heap of trouble thanks to her._ “Nothing of the sort- I’m just pretty damn hearty, that’s all."

The medic grunted. "If you’re worried about my skills, Cap, you can put that thought out to pasture right now- though I don’t look it, I’m a decent sawbones,” Ellie smirked. "Kinda have to be- pirates don’t take too kindly to shitty patch jobs.”

“I suppose not,” Nia said with a grin. “I don’t know if traveling with me is going to be as exciting as hanging with space pirates, but I’ll never turn down any decent company.” She gestured to herself, then to Max. “Captain Nia Alexandra Hawthorne and Vicar Maximillian DeSoto, at your service."

She turned to Max, eyes dancing with amusement as she looked him up and down and noticed his close proximity to Nia. “So.. you’re a Vicar, huh?” 

“Yes, I am, even though traveling with our captain seems to have left me without a congregation.” Max narrowed his eyes slightly, then smoothed his jacket as his face settled into a mask of haughtiness. "What of it?” 

Ellie gestured to him and Nia as she crossed her arms and smirked. “Most Vicars I know don’t have girlfriends,” she replied cheekily. “Guess some stuff’s changed with OSI since I last came upon the bastards.”

“Contrary to popular opinion, we are still humans… _Ellie_ ,” Max said distastefully. “The interactions between the captain and I are of no one’s concern."

“But you didn’t deny it,” she teased as they walked towards the Rest-n-go. “Hey, I say do whatever floats your boat, Vicky. Long as you two don’t start banging in front of me, I don’t particularly care what you do.”

“I assure you, that is not anything you’re in danger of seeing, Ellie.” Then Nia turned to Max, a wicked grin on her face. “Unless you’re secretly an exhibitionist, Maximillian?”

In response, the Vicar stumbled over his feet and turned a shade of purple that almost matched his vestments, causing the two women to laugh uproariously,

_ _

* * *

After the teasing from the doctor, Max tried to be more careful about his interactions with the captain. _The medic is right,_ he thought. _The way you’re behaving is unseemly- you should pull it together, get some distance from her…_

He was fine with it while they talked to Gladys, Phineas’ contact on the Groundbreaker. The woman looked like a sweet old lady, but she was a shark- information was power, and Gladys had no shortage of that. Her price to help them was steep- ten thousand bits or some information, and he watched the wheels turn in Nia’s head as she stared at the old woman. Finally, Nia gave the old woman a happy smile, then shook her head. “No,” she said cheerily. “I think we’d rather not do either of those, as I do need to get to Monarch as soon as possible.”

“It’s just a quick stop to Roseway,” Gladys countered. “And I’d hate to see you have to give up ten thousand of your hard-earned bits over something like that, seeing as how important it is for you to get where you need to go.”

Max started to stiffen at the sweetly-voiced threat in the old woman’s voice, but before he could say anything, Nia got up from her seat and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, giving his hand a soft squeeze before walking back over to the desk. She paused for a moment as she leaned on the table, resting her head on her palms as calmly as if the broker was doing nothing more than telling her a bedtime story. “Gladys, I do hate to be a pain, but I’m going to respectfully decline and give a counteroffer- I’d like you to give me that nav key, and in exchange, I’ll keep you informed on the wicked little goings and comings that I find during my travels.” 

Gladys started to protest but Nia leaned forward, keeping her green eyes locked on the woman as she placed her tiny hand on top of hers. “You see, I’m a gatherer of information myself,” she said softly, “and you’ll come to find that people tell me _lots_ of interesting things, whether they want to or not.” 

The old woman just stared at her, unblinking, while Nia slowly traced a pattern on the top of her hand. “Plus, I think that staying on my good side could prove quite profitable to you.” Then she gave Gladys a look that made Max shiver- he’d never seen an expression like that on her face before, and he was nervous about what might happen if he were to be the recipient of it. “And I hardly think we should let something as paltry as ten-thousand bits or a nav key that you’re not even using come between a business relationship… don’t you agree?”

Max felt like a shroud had been cast over the room- everyone had gone still, and if it weren’t for the soft footfalls of someone in the room above, he would have sworn that time was paused for them. He was sure that Nia had just incited a riot and that Dr. Fenhill would soon be proving that she could do something besides run her mouth, but to his amazement, Gladys didn’t even put up a fight. Blinking, the old woman looked around the room for a moment as if she needed to reassure herself that she was still there, then nodded as she extended her hand. “You make a good point.” Though Max had no idea what had just happened, he could see that the older woman was in no hurry to argue with the tiny woman in front of her. “It seems we have an arrangement, Captain Hawthorne- I look forward to doing business with you in the future.”

“Looks like we’re headed to Monarch, Vicky,” Ellie said wryly from their position in the doorway as the two women shook on their deal. “Think it’s gonna pay anything? I don’t like doin’ stuff for free if I can help it.”

Trying his best to shake off the feeling that something strange had just occurred, Max scowled at the medic. “I’m sure you can scrounge up some bits while we’re out,” Max said tersely, choosing not to acknowledge her nickname for him. “We’ll do our best to keep you from having to work, Dr. Fenhill.”

“Oh, so it's just her you’re nice to,” Ellie said with a smirk, ignoring as Max rolled his eyes. “So, you gotta tell me,” she teased, "how’d she manage to corrupt a Vicar? Does the Cap have a thing for men in uniform or something?” 

“I can’t speak on what the captain does or does not want,” Max replied, watching Nia as Gladys handed her the nav key. “I’m just here to assist and locate a person as soon as we’re able- nothing more.”

“Nothing more, huh?” Ellie said knowingly. “So, you aren’t dating the Cap, then? Coulda fooled me with that little display back there.” He tried to stare ahead and ignore her, but Ellie just kept needling him. “Well, if you’re not, then that means it’d be all right to pass along that message from that cute recruit that was checking her out earlier- he slipped me a few bits to see if I could get her to meet him for drinks-”

“Then I suggest you return those bits as soon as possible because that meeting isn’t going to happen.” Max fought to keep the edge out of his voice, trying to focus on his breathing instead. “I’d prefer if you stayed out of our affairs, Dr. Fenhill,” he growled. “The captain and I have a… _complicated_ situation.”

“Don’t look all that complicated to me,” Ellie drawled, looking over at him as she pretended to examine her nails. “You both look at each other like you want to bone like a couple of sprats- end of story.” She let out an exasperated sigh. “Look, I say just do it and get it over and done with- nothing good ever came of waiting anyway.”

“Do you now?” Max replied idly. “Despite your expert opinion, I think that I am in more of a position-"

Then he saw Nia glance over her shoulder at him and smile and instantly all of his previous thoughts flew out of his head, replaced by the image of the now beaming woman in front of him. Max could feel himself grow warm as Nia’s eyes flickered across his face and settled on his lips, causing him to unconsciously smile back at her, despite the smirk of the nearby medic. “Miss Hawthorne,” he said casually, “is there something I can help you with?”

“Always,” Nia replied. It was like her words traveled directly to the back of his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. “Would you be willing to accompany me to Monarch? There might be some systems I’d need help with, and I think your skills would prove invaluable, Max.”

“Of course,” he replied as they walked out of the Rest-N-Go. “Anything you need, Nia.”

When she reached out for his hand and threaded her fingers in his, Max could hear Ellie snickering behind him, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like, “Nothing more my ass, Vicky."

\--

As they approached the _Unreliable_ , Nia turned to Ellie and Max, looking eager. “So, guys, about this trip to Monarch... when we get there-“ Suddenly she paused, cocking her head slightly as she stared at the ship in front of them. “Well, it looks as if we have a visitor,” she said with a smile.

Max frowned as he stared at the person posted outside the Unreliable, feeling his stomach twist in a small knot. The young man was dark-haired and handsome, seemingly oblivious to their approach as he leaned against the ship. “So it does,” he said drolly. “What do you think he wants?”

Ellie scoffed. “Money, most likely.” Then she paused, looking over the pile of items at the young man’s feet. "Or a ride- take your pick."

“I think we should offer neither,” Max grumbled, noticing the young man’s excitement as Nia approached the ship. Silently, he began to curse the fact that no matter what she did, the tiny woman tended to stand out in a crowd- he made a mental note to talk to her about that. “We don’t know him.”

“You don’t know me, and I’m coming aboard,” Ellie said with a grin. “What,” she retorted, looking the young man up and down as he frantically waved to them, “you scared to get a little competition, Vicky?” 

“Hardly.” Max started to say something else but Nia interrupted them, rolling her eyes before turning to the young man and waving. “Hello, Felix!” Nia called out brightly. As Max’s arm settled around her waist again, she smiled and shook her head at him briefly before turning back to the young man. “So, what’s got you posted up outside my ship today?”

“Oh!” Looking startled, the man called Felix cleared his throat, unfolding a scrap of paper he was clutching in his hands as he smiled at them. “Hi! My name is Felix Millstone,” he read in a monotone voice. “How are you, Captain Hawthorne?”

Nia laughed as she gently unwound Max’s hand from her waist, walking toward the young man. “I’m fine, Felix. I’m just curious- can you tell me what all this is about?” She gestured to the belongings and the script he was reading from, then placed a hand on his arm. “Don’t read, just tell me.”

When she touched Felix, it was just like it was with the man in the Back Bays and with Gladys- the young man blinked and swallowed, the words rushing from his lips like she’d yanked them loose. “I want to go with you,” he said quickly. “I told them at work that I met a beautiful Captain of a ship and she agreed with me that the Rangers were the best-“

Max felt his hands ball up at his side- Nia hadn’t mentioned this encounter at all. He wondered why- anyone could see that the man was an idiot, staring up at the Captain like a lovesick puppy and babbling about how he’d be a great member of the crew because he liked pie. The Vicar rolled his eyes, trying hard to ignore the way Felix was pleading with the captain- the young man's eagerness was grating on his nerves and Max found himself walking over to Nia, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. “Darling,” he said softly, “we have a mechanic, a spiritual guide, and a doctor- what possible purpose would this young man serve on the ship?"

In response, she raised an eyebrow. By now, Max knew Nia well enough to know that she was probably going to have his head, but the young man chose that moment to speak, temporarily saving him from her wrath. “I can fight!” Felix piped up. “That’s the reason I got tossed out by the boss, ya know- he was talking trash about the Rangers, so I whacked him one with my tossball stick. Turns out that’s not what you wanna do if you need to keep your job,” he said sadly. “But,” he said brightly, "I can protect the Cap if I go with her- keep her safe on all her space travels, ya know!”

“I assure you, Mister Millstone,” Max said evenly, replacing his arm around Nia’s waist. “I am more than capable of keeping my Captain safe.”

“But... you’re an old guy,” Felix said, looking at Nia with confusion. From behind him, Max heard Ellie snicker. “I mean, you’re a real-life Halcyon Helen, Nia!” Felix exclaimed. "You need someone at your side that won’t be afraid to take a Raptidon for you- that’s me!”

Nia smiled warmly at Felix, closing her eyes and shaking her head softly. “I have no doubts you would, Felix. But I’m sure your parents might have a slight objection to you taking off to fly across the galaxy.”

Felix looked down and shuffled his feet. “Ain’t got none,” he said gruffly. “I'm an orphan. Ain’t got nowhere else to go, ma'am.”

“And yet you couldn’t think about that _before_ you hit your employer with a tossball stick,” Max muttered under his breath. “For law’s _sake_ , Nia... this man is a moron."

“Well,” she said, giving Max a stern look, “I think we have room on the ship for another set of hands… provided you can manage that temper of yours- we don’t get into fisticuffs over tossball games here.” She turned to Felix and crossed her arms. “You do one thing out of pocket and I’m bringing you right back here, understand?”

To Max’s dismay, the young man nodded happily. “Sure thing, Cap!” Then he turned around as the ship’s doors opened, rubbing his hands together excitedly. “Oh man, a real spaceship- this is amazing!” 

Felix took off inside the ship and promptly crashed into Parvati, who let out an ear-splitting shriek at the sudden collision- Ellie shook her head as Nia raced ahead to handle the chaos inside. “This kinda thing normal for you guys? Picking up strays and making deals with shady old ladies while the man of the cloth dips his wick in the Cap?”

“Other than your crass observation regarding the Captain and I,” Max said with a sigh, “then I would have to say yes.” He rubbed his hands to his temples, valiantly trying to soothe his rapidly fraying nerves. “Miss Hawthorne seems to have a plan, though what it is, I couldn’t say just yet.”

Ellie just stared at him, shaking her head. “And you’re just following her? You’re not even the least bit curious about what’s going on in that noggin of hers you keep making out with?”

“I have my reasons for being here, just like you do,” Max said resolutely as they walked inside. “And as of right now, my interests align with hers, Dr. Fenhill."

“Interesting,” she mused, looking around the ship and taking in the sights. “So, what happens when they don’t, Vicky?” Ellie said, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall. "Whatcha gonna do then?”

“Trust the plan and cross that bridge when we come to it,” he replied as he headed for his room, hoping against hope that the day Ellie was alluding to would never come. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we've come to the end of part 1! The first chapter of part 2 is up and ready to go, so feel free to head on over and check it out- looking forward to seeing some new and familiar faces as this story takes a few interesting turns next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys- this is my first fic in the Outer Worlds fandom! Once I saw the game, I knew this was the perfect place to start my story. Stay tuned, subscribe for updates, and comment!
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